Hurt, Pain, Hell

I need a way to let go of this pain..
I need someone to talk to about this..
I'm hurting inside..
I feel torn..burned..
My heart is ripped to pieces..
Because of multiple things..
My mom and dad don't care anymore..
My sister went back to her abusive, drunk husband..
My grandma and I arguing too much..
My life feels like a living hell..
I thought turning 16 would brighten things up..
But now it feels like the opposite..

My mom and dad didn't call me to wish me a happy SWEET 16 until..
My grandma called them and told them that they needed to call me..
She acted as if I wouldn't know..
But I out-smarted her..
My mom said she was waiting for my dad to get home before she called..
But if that's the case..
Then why was there number on redial..
And my dad was on the computer..
Why do I have parents that don't care..
But act as if they own me..

My sister, unfortunately, went back to her abusive drunk husband..
They've been married for 12 years..
She has a daughter..
But she was adopted..
But she still doesn't need to be around the beer and abuse..
My sister is in trouble..
I sense it..
I'm scared..
For her..
And I don't know what to do..
I want her to move back in..
But I know she's an adult..
And she wants her freedom..
But does she honestly want to be abused??

My grandma and I argue too much..
On my birthday..
Since she called my mom and dad..
We have argued about a lot..
She made matters worse by calling my mom and dad..
What, do they need someone telling them "OK Tammy and Mark..Your daughter is now 16..You need to wish her a Happy Sweet 16."
That hurts like hell..

I am in hell..
Life is hell..
At moments..
Some moments, I'll admit, it's good..
But since I turned 16..
It has seemed to turn for the worst..
You're only 16 once..
Right?
Well I hate it so far, already..

(c) Amanda Bennett
May 24, 2007