Next Life

by The Black Angel Lloyd Rose   May 24, 2007


She is living in the next Jihad,
She was fallen when she turned on God.
She has dreams but they won't manifest,
Always tired but she can never rest.

Slipping away into further despair,
Drowning in tears but she can't get air.
Wanting to fly far away from here,
But she can't move; she's frozen with fear.

No one understands her pain inside,
She'll escape when she becomes Death's bride.
Hiding in the dark from reality,
But all her demons, they still can see.

She's swallowed whole by her decadence,
She trusts her fate with confidence.
Making decisions that have no sense,
She is a wall but has no defense.

Parasites eat her remaining love,
No where to turn not even above.
Blood is flowing as her aura fades,
Maybe her next life won't involve blades.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by LiveMyLifeOnALullaby

    Very strong poem. you could feel the emotion present. keep it up!

  • 16 years ago

    by dawn green

    Very, very, very nice! i loved it! very nice write. keep up the good work.
    god bless

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    The poem reflects darkness in a mysterious way, and the faith in the next life is a weak maybe, therefore I believe the poem hit its mark as a dark poem. The flow is flawless and mesmerizing in a thought provoking way. My suggestion would be to leave this one the way it is as a reference to the darkness one may desire to escape in this life

  • 16 years ago

    by Narphangu

    Pretty language, you seem to have a good grasp of rhyming...

    Perhaps something that's not so... Textbook?
    Branch it out a little bit. There are so many poems out there that read so similar to this[granted this is a wonderful poem, I don't mean to degrade it!]
    Just, a change of pace would be awesome...
    I read this because a post asked me to... It also said you went to jail?
    Well, I bet there aren't a lot of poems around here based on that. And honestly, I'd much rather read something new that I haven't read three-thousand-twenty-something-or-so times.

    You asked for constructive criticizm. I suppose it's not so much constructive criticizm as it is a suggestion. I'll vote and give it a 5, because the level of poetry is all there.
    It's just the theme I'm unimpressed with.

    Hope you're okay with that!
    --SP

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