An Illicit Child

by Mezmeryz   May 27, 2007


You were always tormented,
They all thought you were demented.
Not wanting to stand out,
Not in the world did you have a doubt;
That they didn't hear your screams.

All you wanted was a friend,
That stood by you till time did end.
Longing for someone to care,
For the lost feeling, you could not bear;
Even in the solitude of your dreams.

Everyone seemed to turn you down,
Shy away from you, but with a frown.
But even then your innocence shined,
And then, you were no longer confined;
We had fought through societies schemes.

You may have been an illicit child,
But the sun shone every time you smiled.
When born, you earned a life to be free,
Though you were glared upon as an atrocity;
But now the cruelty is torn at the seams.

No longer seen for what you are,
But what you have become by far.
Now living life in your own right,
Being who you are, and not in spite;
For we have now defeated the regimes,
And because, the true beauty lies,
Behind the disguise;
And simplicity is never what it seems.

*please rate or comment on the poem, it will be greatly appreciated and i will comment and rate back all round. Thank- you.

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  • 16 years ago

    by Georgi

    Okay wow.
    i REALLY REALLY enjoyed this.
    my favourite lines were
    "You may have been an illicit child,
    But the sun shone every time you smiled."
    thats beautiful and wonderful and A GORGEOUS description, that really touched me!
    The rhyme scheme is realy awesome i dont think ive ever come across a good poem like this one using that sort of rhyme scheme, it wasnt forced or anything it was perfect and the descriptions and vocab you used was brilliant!
    WELL DONE!!!
    =]
    Geo

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    Very nicely written. In fact, I enjoyed reading this outstanding piece. Although the flow seemed unnatural at some lines, I actually find it easy to read on the whole. Atrocities are most likely one of human beings' specialties.

    "You may have been an illicit child,
    But the sun shone every time you smiled.'

    I liked that couplet. It, like the sun's rays, gives hope in me. It also never failed to give me a smile :).

    Furthermore, the ending lines endear me completely. In forsooth, finding true beauty in simplicity is a joy. Nicely written, nonetheless. A pleasurable read! 5/5 ~ Marian

  • 16 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    It was full of truths and realities..It is usually hard to put realities on poems but you did a great job really
    I especially liked those;

    For we have now defeated the regimes,
    And because, the true beauty lies,
    Behind the disguise;
    And simplicity is never what it seems.

    Take care hunnie
    Yours truly,
    Laura

  • 16 years ago

    by tyanna

    Amazing write hun and great choice of words.. However, at times you repeated yourself which made your message a littly fuzzy..I still thought the message was great, if I got it right.. This poem shows you have great vocab also!! 5/5
    Tyanna

  • 16 years ago

    by xBxRxOxKxExNx

    Wow mez! its reli gud bt i swear to god u scare me!

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