Missing

Wow I loved it
Very emotional and very sad
5/5

Idk what to say.... thats brilliant

Thats better but still make the corrections. you mispelled visit and i dont think thats what u meant to say that on line 8. if u did meant to say that i apologize. thanks 4 the mention.

U made a error right where u wrote daddy hopes u die. read that sentence again and youll see what im sayin. its visit and not vist u missed an I towards the end of the poem ma. poems suppose to make a statement if u read my stuff it always end strong. the ending of ya poem is suppose to make people think and say wow. Try something like "I wonder why u wasnt there" or " Now because of you these tears are non- refundable" something like that to leave the reader thinking about u. this poem is fare ill give it a three.

I like the way you convey the emotions, it's almost liek I can hear you talking