Right now I am feeling low

Even when things get bad ,
I try never to be sad.
If things get a little stressed ,
I don't let it get me depressed.
But the return of love in my life ,
is causing me great strife.
I wish my vow I'd stuck to ,
then I wouldn't feel the way I do.
Things were fine before all this ,
untill I was reminded of what i miss.
Now all I feel is sad ,
and its making me go mad.
My kids are my life and were my only love ,
and security and stability was enough.
Falling in love I hadn't banked upon ,
I want these feelings to be gone.
Try to ignore but they won't go away ,
he's all I think about all day.
Hurt my partner I could never do ,
but to carry on this way i don't want to.
I'm hiding behind a fake smile ,
yet inside I'm hurting all the while.
What to do I'm just so unsure ,
wish I didn't have to live anymore.