Vietnam Sky {{collab}}

by .K.i.T.t.Y.   Jun 4, 2007


Sunlight shines in the Vietnam sky,
As bullets rip through the golden air;
He looks towards the blazing orb,
Hanging high,
As a trickle of sweat wets his brow.

June's sweet rays reach out,
Towards this man,
With no one to hold,
To love,
And embraces him with warmth.

He feels a stab to his heart,
Remembering a sweet face,
And with a tremble,
He chokes back a sob,
As loneliness bleeds through his veins.

Golden hair and crystal eyes,
Blur his vision,
Her tantalizing presence loses him,
Loses him in a danger zone,
Where remembered soldiers fell.

But he feels no pain,
Her sweet voice ringing in his ears,
Blocking out the cry of a rifle,
and it is this simple trance,
that numbs a bullet ripping through his chest.

(in collaboration with Blue Eyes, a wonderful poet)

http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/author.html?id=307206

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    I really liked it. The second stanza was a bit off flow wise, but the rest of it was brilliant work; words stuck out to me and I could feel the emotion in this.
    Nicely done.

    xTheEcstaysofSuicidex 5.5

  • 16 years ago

    by Leslie

    This poem is great. really go with the collqaboration thing, the imagery is amazingly clear. excellent wording. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Ok, this was another great one by you.... you have done another great job through your poetry.

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Great poem. You two did a good job on this poem. I gave it a 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Georgi

    Holy HELL
    "that numbs a bullet ripping through his chest. "
    that sent shivers down my spine it was chillingly BEAUTIFUL absolutely mesmerizing i LOVED every second of that poem!!!
    The way his loved ones voice, his memories of her, drowned out every painful and horrible thing in war it was so beautiful.
    i especially liked how there wasnt a fixed, expected, rhyme scheme, it emphasised the unexpected bullet at the end.
    beautiful =]
    well done
    if u have time please comment my latest?

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