Final Hour

by MaSkEdSoUl   Jun 5, 2007


I run and run,
I try to escape.
They're never going to leave,
They're there forever.

I hate them,
Dislike them,
And want them to leave.
It'd be a lot easier to go on without them.

They're there permanently,
They're there forever.
The thoughts I have,
I dare not speak of.

These thoughts would devour you,
Eat you whole.
They're like demons,
Evil and knave.

They're taking over me,
Like a plague.
So for my final hour,
I'd like to say...

Never let your thoughts take over you....
Good-bye.

**I feel like its not good. Please tell me what you think of it**

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  • 16 years ago

    by Kristi lee

    It was good

  • 16 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Dislike them, = I dislike them (no comma, either)

    thoughts I have, = thoughts I have (no comma)

    devour you, = devour you; (semi-colon)

    demons, = demons: (colon)

    and in your end-note: its not good = It's not good

    The poem, overall, seemed... pointless. An abstract poem. It didn't catch my eye, it didn't strike me odd nor did it make me think or inspire me. The poem itself was well written, aside from your lack of correct use of punctuation, but your flow, syllabication (even in free verse poems syllabication does exist) and word use seemed intricate. But that was it... the intricacy was used in not the meaning but the appearance of the meaning... That isn't necessarily bad but if you want to have poems that hit people hard, make them stronger and more meaningful, rather than just fancy.

    All-the-same, well done =]
    5/5
    ~Stephen White

  • 16 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    It was good 4/5 the beging just a little work and the ending was a little kinda random but liked it.

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    It's nicely written, but I would write (in the second stanza) : " I dislike them
    hate them"
    'cause the "hate" is stronger emotion, so it's logical to me that it comes second... (this is just my opinion)

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