Painted Smiles (251)

I tried being good
And I tried being bad
Nothing fits the good life
That I once had.

I smile fake smiles
I laugh false laughs
I try to love and care
But my heart is split in halves.

Did you think that I'd be fine?
When I was screaming and shouting?
When I tried to feel alright
But oh how I was doubting.

These painted smiles didn't go
They did not disappear
I thought that I'd find happiness
But now I'm a tragedy story of Shakespeares.

I tried to find this joy and love
Through these painted smiles
Pretending, laughing, joking
Writing poetry, my reconcile.

©opyrighted by Kitty De'Kat