The Last Day

by Spirit   Jun 30, 2007


The shouting disappeared
darkness's leave awakens him
nothing can stop the bold light
from penetrating in

A new day has started
and he knows without a doubt
no matter what he does or says
there's no way he's getting out

The chantings ceased to ring
all possibilities, now lost
for fear no longer fears
and hopes to high a cost

Giving in sounds easy
but he knows the devil's tongue lies
now he feels betrayals scorn
for todays the day he dies

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Esther

    Wow, I liked it, it flowed brilliantly, but I think that was down to the rhyming scheme. I am curios now, like why he's dying, all the metaphors, the true concept, oh well.

  • 10 years ago

    by CanUKissAwayMyPain

    Wow this was a powerful and dark poem you have writen here. it caught me right away.

    A new day has started
    and he knows without a doubt
    no matter what he does or says
    there's no way he's getting out

    this was my bery bery favorite part. it touched me the most cuz sum can relate to it. nicely done.

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "The shouting disappeared
    darkness's leave awakens him
    nothing can stop the bold light
    from penetrating in"

    ^^ LOVE this opening, so much power and beautiful imagery, however I don't think you need "the" in the first line.

    "A new day has started
    and he knows without a doubt
    no matter what he does or says
    there's no way he's getting out"

    ^^Favourite stanza of the poem. So much melancholy yet so beautifully written, creating many emotions for me as the reader.

    "The chantings ceased to ring
    all possibilities, now lost
    for fear no longer fears
    and hopes to high a cost"

    "Giving in sounds easy
    but he knows the devil's tongue lies
    now he feels betrayals scorn
    for todays the day he dies"

    ^^ I didn't like the closing line here, it seemed weaker to me whereas I find the rest of the poem incredibly strong throughout.

    That being said, I enjoyed this, imagery was beautifully portrayed throughout, as was the depth and emotion and the flow was flawless throughout.

    ^^ Other favourite stanza of the piece, I find this stanza to hold almost as much power as the rest of the piece put together.

  • 11 years ago

    by KeyxMashingxParody

    Other than a few grammar errors, I loved it! The emotion was strong, and you kept the reader intrigued. 5/5

    -Liz-

  • 11 years ago

    by Danielle

    Wonderful.
    your second stanza persnally is my favorite.
    keep it up!