Tighten up the lines, in order to augment the flow. Other than that, I actually find this piece quite beautiful and emotive; in fact, I adored how you've portrayed a teardrop, "...full of thousand emotions
all trapped inside clear crystal cage". 'twas fairly vivid and satirical as well. :) Nicely done. ~Marian
I loved the emotion portrayed throughout this piece but as Debbie (Marian) said some lines could be tightened to make the flow much better. the way you portrayed a tear drop I agree with Deb so beautiful I loved that part and I truely felt the emotions pouring from this poem. Well done on creating such a beautiful piece. ~mel
This was very different and I could picture it all happening as you tell the story. Great wording and good idea for a poem. However, I would just suggest you read through it again as there are a few minor words missing here and there that could make it flow a bit easier.