Wow..very good and powerful poem. The flow was amazingly good. I loved your choice of words and all the metaphors you used. I had to reread it twice to really take in the meaning of the poem and that means its good. It caused me to think. Keep it up.
Wow, it is very unique, short yet very powerful and effective. The whole poem has great wording and atmosphere, it is so creative.
My favorite lines are:
drifting toward tomorrow.-
^ That makes very vivid image in my mind.
The title is very captivating, and the ending of the poem is so effective.
Keep up, 5/5 from me
Though this is short I really like it. It is very thought provoking and makes the reader think... I love the vocabulary that you chose; it shows that you wanted your readers to read and reread this in order to gain their own understanding.
Nice how something so short can be so taunting and excellent at the same time.
Well.. to intrepret this poem. First you talk about brine, and I get a sense of the sea.. and a lot of your poem reminds me of the sea, but I could be way off here. You also seem to be talking about something that entrances you, and you want to be able to study it more, but's gone before you can, just like a flash of light. Stop me here if I'm to far offbase. lol. Overall it's a short poem, but something very meangingful. 5/5 for sure.
This poem made me feel so relaxed I loved the feeling this piece portrayed into my atmoshere really enjoyable almost trance like in its very own unique way. Short and simple which is how this was written, effective. Loved the flow it was almost chant like. The meaning portrayed was deep it had me thinking about the possibilites of this piece. Well done on creating another beautiful poem. ~mel
Amazing poem, your words say so much, and atmosphere is great. Truly creative and deep piece, every line is very powerful and whole piece has some impressive rhythm. Well done, this one really deserves 5/5
An echo, this day,
[[I don't like the "like" here.. it seems to take away from the simple imagery your putting together as a whole poem. However, that's only an opinion. ^^ ]]
Is just a fleeting image-
In the crux of things.
[[I really like the ending of the poem. Very strong and powerful, very meaningful, very well thought out, and very well worded. Bravo.]]
I liked the poem as a whole. The ending, of course, was my favorite (which is how it should be, the ending and the beginning, but you get the point) and I enjoyed the poem immensly, espically the meaning. It's such a short, simple poem, but in my eyes, can be taken in so many different ways. Bravo to you.
The thing I love about short poems
Are because they give you more time to THINK more.
I'll just give you my translation.
You're walking in the beach.
Sand in your toes.
Yet you're not quite awake.
Maybe it's because you're just day dreaming.
Thinking about tommorow.
Or like the rest of us, using only ten percen of our brain.
Another refreshing read different from the norm and something I quite enjoyed. It flowed perfectly and the repitition was effective in getting across your message. I loved how it was short yet held so much power and meaning. You are talented no doubt.