Accidental like me

by Stephanie Naylor   Jul 4, 2007


I'm a calamity.
I have nothing smart to say.
Hello humanity,
My name is I Don't Have A Name Today.

I'm a black sheep bastard
With fewer brain cells than balls.
I'm a bio-hazard.
I'm a half-baked fraud, a fake that's flawed.

One time my dad jerked off,
and then my mom sat in it.
I was an accident.
I was supposed to be a do-over.
I'm points off, I'm one letter-grade lower.

I keep smudging the lines in-between insane and sober.
I roll like the short bus, but just a little slower.

My name is Oops,
I Just Crashed My F-ing Scooter.
I'm of no use,
I'm just a twenty-two time loser.

And on the day I turn twenty-three,
You'll realize you're accidental like me.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Riley

    Haha, this made me laugh a bit.
    Very weird and interesting. I don't know rlly what to say lol.

  • 16 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    The flow was awesome, it made me laugh, and the word choice added to that, keep smiling.
    take care
    love Tara-Kay
    xx

  • 16 years ago

    by So Wrong its Right

    It was very interesting. it was totally different than anything i would be able to write. great job. 5/5!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Sweet Fragility

    Amusing but just a little bit weird. Interesting word choice in this one.

    I keep smudging the lines in-between insane and sober

    That is my fave line but I also like the first stanza.

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    ...an unintentional offspring?

    I, too, don't find it particularly funny; however, how you've written this poignant piece in a supposedly humorous manner struck a chord within me. Whether it is fictitious or not, it is a fine piece of work.

    I particularly admire how you've stated the line, as follows:
    "I keep smudging the lines in-between insane and sober."
    `Very endearing and sophisticated!

    Take care,
    Marian

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