I Was Hoping You Had The Key To My Heart

by aDORKable x3   Jul 18, 2007


Tears were falling down my pale white cheek -
I thought I had broken my bad luck streak.
But obviously, each guy was as bad as the last,
I hated, each time, the repeating of my past.

The locket you gave me still hung around my neck,
As if it was a sign of his broken regret.
Each "I Love You" laced with more cruel lies;
Each word covered up by his decietful eyes.

I believed each word; I treasured each thought -
I kept his letters with everything he had bought.
I never did care much for those superficial things,
Even though I did treasure my necklace and earrings.

I wanted something more, but I was too soft spoken,
So I just wound up getting my heart broken.
I guess I built this 'love' on a new, false start
Because I Was Hoping You Had The Key To My Heart

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    I liked this, although the topic was cliched..[what topic isn`t these days? lol] you still found a way to make it unique...I love that about your work, great job Hunn.

    5.5
    :]
    heartchuu.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    I like the ending very much. Third stanza is bad but rest of poem is excellent. Atmosphere that you created is interesting and you described emotions greatly. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Tears were falling down my pale white cheek -
    I thought I had broken my bad luck streak.
    [[ I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really....ect..hate this rhyme. It's so cliche for you!]]

    The locket you gave me still hung around my neck,
    As if it was a sign of his broken regret.
    [[But, I love this rhyme. =] ]]

    Because I Was Hoping You Had The Key To My Heart
    [[And I Love this line. Beautiful.]]

    I really liked this, although the topic was cliche. Everyone writes about a broken heart, yet somehow, you managed to not make it as cliche and bring something out in it. Nicely done.
    Oh. And nice job on punctuation! =]]

    xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

  • 16 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    Very nice wording, but very very sad. Something I'm sure many can relate to. I loved the rhyme and flow it was near perfect!
    Charisma*

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