Young Crusader

by Veamm   Jul 20, 2007


Young Crusader

A young crusader armed with dignity
living in a world of war and machinery
born and raise to be a brave man
intend to change, justice for every clan
a promise made from hope and glory
white flags, peace in every territory

He walked, then he search for the light
hoping to find a way to stop this fight
to have peace,balance right and wrong
stop madness, to turn weak to strong

then soldier left home without any fear
his ready to serve armed with his gear
address to protect his own country
so then the crusader join the military
courage, determination and the will
to change everyone, to stop the kill

now battle chant silence the forbidden soil
endless screaming,bloodshed for their goal
stunned,The crusader peek at battlefield
dead skin,broken swords and torn shields
heard gunshots, this war fog spared no one
war machines tear down,ravaged every man

then he prayed,blessed the fall he said
have pity to souls needed to be mend
enough for the sacrifice,give me courage
help them,save their hearts from rage
cleanse those souls from heavy burden
no man must die, no lives must be taken

He kneel, and confess for their sins
watching them lay down,killing skins
then pain engulf his whole body
screaming, crying for help, felt agony
piece of lead, bullet run through his head
He sacrifice just to stop the bloodshed

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by janiL

    Superb wordings.. i love your style.. great imagery.. touching and poignant theme..
    i have nothing else to say..

    this was simply... great!
    5/5 definitely..^__^

  • 16 years ago

    by ben thompson

    Not to bad at all. it is a well written piece. keep working on the english its pretty good already. all the best wishes ben thompson

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    What a intense and heart gripping piece you have penned. Excellent from start to finish.
    Great job!
    Take Care Cindy

  • 16 years ago

    by chavii

    Thats a very moving poem you have written, very well penned.Keep up the good work.

    Best wishes
    chavii.

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    Nicely done. This work was quite interesting to tell you the truth, though I have meager knowledge of a soldier's thoughts and feelings in battle. Its narrative further enlightened my mind with courage, gallantry and faith and etc., which led me to better understand those men of valor. Simply articulate and quite consistent throughout, to say the least.

    "He kneel, and confess for their sins,
    watching them lay down,killing skins"
    `"...killing skins" seemed irrelevant; replacing 'killing' with 'stripping' seemed more appropriate. But then again, it probably was just me.

    A pleasurable read, nevertheless. Thanks for sharing. ~Marian

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