The Man I Never Was

I look into the mirror only to see,
A man I always swore would never be me.
And I’m sorry for all of those I’ve hurt this way,
And I will be a different person, I swear on this day.

There isn’t much I can do to gain forgiveness,
I really don’t deserve it I guess.
And if you don’t want to be with me, I understand.
Forget all about me- And release this hand.

All that I’ve done- Now and before,
Seems to have come back, only to trouble me more.
And whilst I seem the same to all of you,
Inside I’m constantly wondering what to do.

Should I move on, in hopes all will be better?
I know I should, but how when I feel so bitter?
Or will I linger on the passings of yesterday?
In hopes that this pain will soon go away.

This question has haunted my mind for what seems to be years.
I’m growing tired of listening to my falling tears.
“But it could be worse”, is always running through my mind.
“I could have never known you at all” and would still be blind.

Blind to what it feels to have something to live for,
And even though I have that no more,
I still have a place in my heart,
Where you and I will never part.