Drown unwanted memories
in whiskey and daquiries
Anything to take my thoughts
off what I've done
and what I have to do
I know everyone can see
My nerves completely failing me
My hands can barely hold this cigarette
without shaking violently
Strike up friendly conversation
Useless and irrelevant
He, she, doesn't matter
Just another phantom
to pretend to give a damn
You're all here for just. one. thing.
and I'm here for
Father was a great man
He wore his soul under a long black cloak
bent over a cane
Because the weight of the vision
of a million decisions
forced his back to break
and give away
Everyone succumbs
to fall under that pressure
No matter how long or how hard
They work to live up to it
Or die trying to fight it
Then I had to break away
I ran so far
I ran until my feet
could do the running for me
Some days, I'm still running
In some ways, I enjoy being nothing
Now I can let my mind
wander on other things
The glitter of the discoball
reflecting neon lights
The way you move across
the dance floor
and make me feel alright
with sitting here alone
The repetitious symphony
of monolithic beats
Pulse from speakers
Screwed into the ceiling
It's all just cheap theatrics
Time to show these brats
what they've been missing
With a gun under my belt
I don't know what I'm doing
These things I've never felt
But it's something
that I have to do
Something that he asked me to
Raise my arms and
Go out with a bang
Not a whimper
He doesn't care anymore
and neither do I
My jacket is red
Stained with the blood
I've had to pay
The sacrifice I've had to make
to live the way I do
for so long
I've thrown my life away
On a lottery
More times than I
Have time to count
Because tonight is all it takes
One night
Another life at stake
Maybe mine
This time
I never had much faith
in "luck" anyway
My number's coming up
