How,,*

This wasn't the best but i dont think it was that bad either, to be honest, i thought your words were a little simple, and you didnt use alot of emotion in this piece yet it flowed well and i understood it perfectly.
Love Tara-Kay
x

I think I'd like to see you expand your vocab a bit. This was still a good poem, but the context is simple. Also adding some commas at the end of some of the lines, would help to make for a smoother flow.

marcella

It was an okay poem.. But you really need to put some punctuations in this piece, (Just a suggestion) coz a poem without a punctuation is like a song without a tune - in my opinion.

Nonetheless a good read.

It's ok. Me making it a song again made it better. Songs make everything better. ^_^ I'll give it a four.