What if

What if i would of died that day
with the anbilacord wrapped around my neck
my little heart racing fast
my little face a blue wreck.

what if i never new of life
and never suffered this pain
buried with the little angels
my grave marked by an angel with a rusted chain.

what if i were to die tomorrow
to forget this useless world
and escape this numbing state
my secrets unfurled.

what if i were to leave this place
where even your friends betray
this bitter world i don't belong
ill never be ok.

what if the medication helped
and i wasn't sick no more?
but this is life not a fairytale
even the princesses dies in war.

what if i cant change
and this really is just me
would you still love me mommy?
or would you kick me away like a stray?

what if i never was?
and never knew of pain?
what if i was never worth
and really just important as a small grain?