On the road

I really enjoyed this poem, it really made me smile. I can imagine this holiday that your going on, a perfect family trip. Its nice, cheerful and i get this sense of excitement when i read through your words. The repition (which is changed a little with every stanza) of "We're on the road" really extends whats point your trying to make. the poem is quite intresting and very enjoyable and carefree. The lfow of the [eice was good and worked quite well. I love this stanza;

"Just like a patchwork quilt
The landscape is passing by
Sunflowers and other patches
Are a pleasure for the eye
We're still on the road"

I lvoe the simlilie youve used in this. And if you think about it when your traveelling passing loads of things it can be like a patchwork quilt. The peice was very descriptive. To improve this i suggest you use punctuation in your work as itll help the reader, read the poem the way you want it to be read.
Thank you for your comment.
x

:) I like the last line. The poem is ok. There are some good parts and some parts that could use work. I'll give it a three. The patchwork part is one of my favorite lines.

Well this is a wonderful poem, It's good to read something unique =) Honestly.. I can't write a poem about anything.. I can only write about my past love.. Anyway you did it well done!

Keep writing =)

Descriptive but im not sure the message or meaning of this sorry

In big city's we get lost all the time
So don't you have fear
Cause we're on the road

..
loved those lines..
not like the others bad,, but i just relate to them easily.. totally awesome poem after all.. great work,great poem .. keep it up

~Wake~