My Secret

I can feel it closing in...
The darkness, the emptiness, the utter loneliness...
I am afraid of feeling nothing, but I know it is inevitable.
It is this way always.
He doesn't know, he can't feel it, I won't let him...
So, my feelings for him will fade... it has already begun.
I am pushing him away.
I can't stop.
Nothingness consumes me.
I somehow crave the loneliness that I despise....