A foe you'll never know

by jarrod   Aug 6, 2007


This is a song lyric i wrote originally about society, it's very different, wish you could hear how it sounds in here!

please put on your sheild
your set up to fail
the path seems straight
but it will veer

the stones will crack
and earth will crumble
water will to sand
your body will fumble

let me hold your hand
and lift you up
when you need help
I'll help you up

Friends will be enemies
and a foe you'll never know
but not a friend
an enemy

Your head will dizzy
you will lose vision
your up is down
Hell to heaven

So caress me now
and look within
deep inside
I am sin!

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by TwiztidJuggalette

    I liked it..
    Which is weird..Cause I usually don't like Poems under this catergory...
    But yeah..The flow was really good through out the whole thing
    And the wording was just right for this...

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    Good poem. Loved the idea of sin. The flow of this poem was good also and it had a strong ending. 5/5

    -Shannon <3

  • 16 years ago

    by Rose not your average

    The stones will crack
    and earth will crumble
    water will to sand
    your body will fumble
    i really liked this stanza it was put together wonderfull, the whole poem was well done 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Your head will dizzy
    you will loose vision

    ^^ Should be lose...just thought you should know because some people might read it as lose or some like me may be thrown off and see it as loose haha

    I thought this was excellent!!!.....That last line was absolutley true! "I am Sin"....it was as if I felt the ground shake reading that....sin is very scary to me because it caused the world to be the way it is....I love the style of this poem....very nice!.....
    Chelsey

    Would appreciate you reading my work in return!

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