Hallucinate.

by Birgit   Aug 6, 2007


I had a hard time putting it in the right category xD And I didn't think it was finished, but again, a friend did. =] So I just posted it ^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I guess there's something wrong with me,
For me to see you this way,
I hallucinate you with her,
Every single day..

It started before we broke up,
On this cold, Friday night..
You were at her place,
I found it a terrible sight..

You, with her, I thought..
Really how could this be?
This "friendship" between you and her,
Is turning out in jealousy.

Well, then you broke up
Empty and broken I was,
And right before I knew it..
You being with her, was your one and only cause.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Ariana

    I usually don't like rhyme, i thought however in this instance it worked quite well. There is a bit of cliched rhyme in there, but for the most part I thought your idea's came across clearly. I really like the title and how you fit it into the piece, it is quite unique and gives more depth to the piece because it makes it sound more original and sincere. I liked it :)
    -ariana

  • 16 years ago

    by CompletelyIncomplete

    So sad and beautiful poem Loved the word choice. Hmmm it is 5/5 foe sure :)

    Tc

  • 16 years ago

    by Corruption

    Great poem you wrote this well
    i think you could of added more
    but yeah it is alright how it is lol
    good poem:D:D

    Keenan

  • 16 years ago

    by Rose not your average

    This was a god poem i think you could have added more to it or make apart 2 for it but all in all this poem is a 5/5 and well done!

  • 16 years ago

    by Hebe

    Aww, so sad.
    Yet, great rhyming and word choice.
    I'm here if you ever need me.
    You take care
    Your friend
    Hebe

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