Two Teenage Lovers (Collab) (Pantoum)

by Bryan   Aug 12, 2007


Two teenage lovers, intertwined as one,
Two hearts brought together by sincere goodbyes,
Nobody guessed that there love had just begun,
Mostly because of their memories and hurtful lies.

Two hearts brought together by sincere goodbyes,
Lost in each others love, too stubborn to see,
Mostly because of their memories and hurtful lies,
A broken fairytale of love is their only guarantee.

Lost in each others love, too stubborn to see,
He was betraying her, their love, and what they had,
It was never brought to her eyes that this would be,
She had no doubt that it would end up this sad.

He was betraying her, their love, and what they had,
cheating on her, his love was now forsaken,
She had no doubt that it would end up this sad,
But nobody foresaw the love that was taken.

Cheating on her, his love was now forsaken,
Not a single speck of trust was left,
Nothing was being taken into consideration,
Everything was now over, Nothing kept.

Two hearts bleeding, brought together by fate,
Nobody guessed that there love had just begun,
second chances come, hoping love is not too late,
Two teenage lovers, intertwined as one.

The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.

Twas a collab with the very talented, Tempted

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    Bryan
    Great job by you both on this write. This form seems so hard to pull off. Emotions really run deep in this poem.
    Excellent job!
    Take Care Cindy

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    Okay. I'll past my review of Tempted's poem in here. (Saves more time and energy, hehe.)

    "Nicely done collab. I'm glad both of you got to finish it skillfully well. :] Kudos!

    "Two hearts brought together by sincere goodbyes,"

    ^ How odd that line is. It was, in fact, a kind of irony. I, too, use irony on my poems: it's one of my favorite tools when I write poetry. I'll give you my props for that.

    "Two hearts bleeding, brought together by fate,
    Nobody guessed that there love had just begun,"

    ^ Interesting couplet. Though the general idea of the poem is of a tragic love, I beg to differ with my own taste and own case as well: an unrequited love. There's nothing much more dramatic than this kind of love, I believe. Anyway, the said couplet is perfectly correlated with a personal experience of mine. Quite nostalgic.
    Congratulations, darlings! Both of you wrote it well. (Forgive me for rambling such nonsenses...*coughs*)

    "If the guy can do it (betray) the first time in the hard way, there's no doubt he can do it easily on the second time." <33"

    Hopefully, I didn't ramble much! :3

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