14 word "you"s in 4 stanza-poem.. I think that's too much.. Try to remove some of them, i think that would be better.. :)
Nice flow, and good emotion inside..
Well done...
5/5

Make the first leter of paragraph capital brother
Rest it was really an awesome poem
i truly loved it
You have improved a lot
Well done
5/5
keep it up
tc
your friend
Rohan

This is a very great poem....i enjoy reading your poems..keep it up...

(",)

This is a nice poem though it can still be improve to more captivating, interesting and more heartwarming poem. I know you can do it, just don't try to hold back your words and don't limit yourself. And keep your focus away from limiting the words just to put rhyming, coz it could destroy the flow. but i like the emotion in here... keep it up!

Last four words. final songs sepecialy for you... i liked these things alot. nicely done.. theend was good. yo have talent. dear
5

Nice work mate its quite a struggle to rhyme each sentance without sounding terribly forced nice one :)

Hey...ive got no advice coz im no where near as good as you are, i like your poems! well done..keep writing! mayb i should give up haha! ciao hun xx

I can tell your heart was in this poem and i like the concept, you could try expanding your vocabulary and refining your structure and grammer further. but well done and keep writing i would love to read more

Wow, a wonderful piece of work. I love it very much.

A lovely piece, showing love and pain 5/5 giving up is never easy

xD
~NinjaGirl~

Beautifully written love poem, very emotional.
My favorite stanza is:
-The lullaby's that says goodbye's,
the word love that says lie,
the feeling that i want to die
all of that brings me to cry-
^Excellently written, with great wording.
I like the atmosphere that you created in the poem.
5/5

I again loved the meaning of this poem quite sweet and beautiful written with great emotion. The flow again seemed a little off but to me this what much better then the last piece I read of yours. Overall I think this is a 4/5 also. good effort yet again keep up the good work. ~mel

It was a sweet piece, with great emotion portrayed throughout. The flow wasn't the best, but it wasn't bad. Keep it up.

I like it very much. Second stanza is greatest, you created original and powerful atmosphere. 5/5

Wow thats very well written sad but well written5/5 from me
xx

Lovely piece.
I like the last four
lines. It flows
together pretty well.
I give 5/5!!

You have to many you's at the end of lines, you dont have to put so many.the flow was pretty good, the rhyming did not seem forced, well done.

A good poem, but room for improvement.

I think as many stated above you used to many 'You's' and threw off the flow. However The emotions made up for the frustration, an d made it a good read:).

Keep it up,
Elaine.

Wow, this poem is greatly written full of emotions, keep up the great work dear,
you are so talented.

The flow was a little off but i cant down vote you for that. i loved it 5/5