Tears I Should Have Cried

Last night, I had that dream again,
I swear there will never be an end...
It's the dream that I feel him touching me,
And his ugly face I can really see...

And I can see myself silently screaming,
And the little trust I had is now leaving...
Nobody is there to help me this time,
Nobody is there to reassure me that I'm fine...

His old hands touching my skin,
Released painful tears I had deep within...
And his cringing voice speaking in a low tone
Made me dread that him and I were alone...

I saw the tears fall down my face,
I saw the same exact broken down place...
Where I was alone because I was on my own,
Where was my company? That's unknown...

And I replayed the next coming days too,
With all of the hell I was put through...
From crisis counseling to the repeat of my story,
All about the inappropriate touching from a guy who's forty...

My dream played all the moments where I held my tears,
I could see my life filling up with all those past fears...
And I saw that the one person who mattered was NOT there,
The only one who I wanted to did not care...

I woke up crying, tears just streaming down my face,
I wiped them all away on my saturated pillowcase...
This dream is becoming habit forming,
It makes me dread the look of the morning...

And I will relived this dream for a while too,
All until I can really finally get through...
The trust issues and fear that I have inside,
And maybe let go of these tears I should have cried...