My own good-bye to you

Dearest cousin,
I'm lost and I'm scared
i don't know what to do
I'm trying so hard not to think of you.
oh i miss you and I'm so sad
i just still can't picture you as dead
dead means gone forever
and i don't know how to deal with it.
i prefer to think your on a vacation
and you'll be back
it's the only way i get through a day.
the only way i don't picture you as you are now.
I'm so sorry i never got to say good-bye.
I'm sorry you never saw your niece
most of all I'm sorry you were alone.
they wouldn't have done this to you if you were alone.
oh god i miss you so much.
I'm sorry your last moments were scary ones.
your daughter will always know who you are
even if i have to take her in with my own.
i wish i knew what to do, i wish i knew what to say
but nothing will ever change what happened
so I'll simply say may god be with you always
may you rest in piece.

(c)copyright 2007

my cousin Allison was killed 5 days ago and i miss her so much, i never got to go to the funeral. this is my good-bye to her.