What happened

What happened to those days
the ones i don't remember
they sound so beautiful
just as she says
as we approach September
my birthday comes around
my heart couldn't be
closer to the ground
not as an outsider would see
what happened to my mother
someone who cared and loved me
i walk through the door
not here fifteen minutes
already on the floor
the drugs they get to me
the alcohol i adore
i cant take this anymore
bruises I'm forced to hide
foolish rules i must abide
the circle of abuse
its such a silly thing
something to amuse
if only i could see it in that way
maybe there could be a day
what happened to my mommy
the one i used to wait for day after day
since when did jealousy
mean forgetting your child
the youngest means being done i guess
it kind of hurts i must confess
what have i ever done so wrong
to have her hate me for so long
I've been her child through and through
I'm getting very tired
i can barely see you
the drugs they overtake me
I'm escaping all my pain
for what exactly i don't gain
not that anyone would notice
my smile is of bliss
my eyes are full of sadness
and my laughter, hesitation
feeling less and less
only concentration