Second Wish

I wish to write a poem,
Of grieving, pain and loss,
It shouldn't be so hard to do,
Of this I know a lot.

I'll start the poem right from birth,
This seems the easy way,
The beginning's where the pain all starts,
Still continues to present day.

My age was 1; still only young,
Asleep in the arms of mother,
I died at my sisters christening,
She just lost her younger brother.

I got brought back, but only just,
Everyone got a fright,
To everyone's shock and pure despair,
It happened again that night.

Now four years old and doing fine,
Mum's now heavy drinking,
Turns up at home with another man,
God knows what she was thinking.

My dad got mad and stormed about,
It drove him half insane,
He forgave her once; for the family,
Yet she did it once again.

Now ten years old; I'm over it,
With friends doing crazy stunts,
Fell on a pole that went in my back,
It then came out the front.

Now 17 and scarred for life,
But still not bitter yet,
Found myself so deep in love,
I see how good things get.

My 18th birthday comes around,
I'm floating on a high,
I found out on one summers night,
She was pregnant from another guy.

I'm a full grown man, now 22,
Don't care about my life,
One long night out, I turn around,
I see the mugger's knife.

No surprise it went all the way in,
3 inches of pure, cold steel,
I figure this must finally be the end,
Yet fears not what I feel.

Joy that maybe it's all over,
Relief that I can rest,
The knowledge that I was dying,
Was a weight lifted off my chest.

It wasn't deaths design for me,
Unfortunately I'm still alive,
Its obvious now, God wishes to see,
How much pain I can survive.

This finished poem of pain and strife,
The whole world now can see,
It's not as bad as life can get,
But it's bad enough for me.