Twofold Untold [Collab With Jay]

by Pete   Oct 19, 2007


Met an ideal woman who could steal my heart.
She's beautiful, wonderful, charming and smart.
Perfect, except that she's way out of my league.
Yet our relationship's patiently being fatigued.

I trust her it's just that my patience is tried.
Every time that she nags me it snags on my pride.
She commands me, demands every bit of attention.
I've no release which in turn increases the tension.

Persistently shouts when I'm out with the guys.
When she's out I doubt that the same rule applies.
I'm a guy; this is why i spend time with my friends.
It appears that a break might help make amends.

I've acquired this desire to just be on my own.
We're good together, but would be better alone?
In vain I've constantly tried to hide my shame.
I can't conceal my wonder at if she feels the same.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I met an ideal man, he stole my heart away.
Characteristics of the man for which I'd always pray,
He's different, yet handsome, humorous and fun.
Though the relationship we've had, I fear may be done.

My trust for him I hold, I trust him with all my heart.
Yet lately I feel that we're gradually drifting apart.
The fault lies with no one, but yes, there's a change.
The bond we formed, now centre of the firing range.

He's always leaving home, out with his "mates".
He doesn't understand, ending in another fiery debate.
Of a break up I've thought, of our future I'm unsure,
Yet something holds me back, constantly reassures.

It may be we're so good together, better than apart,
Or that when he's not around, he's still in my heart.
I waited so long, hoping that he would simply walk by.
This is not ending now, I'm not giving up, for us I will try.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by nikki

    Wow. that was truyl amazing, last time i looked on here you had like 40 poems i think, now you got 50.

    this was a truly amazing piece, and the way that you both blended the poem was superb, nicely penned piece by you and jay, 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by xXxemzxXx

    Hey i really loved this peice it was a really good idea to place both oppinions it was a lovely poem :) 5/5

    --emz--

  • 16 years ago

    by gack60

    This was an excellent piece, it flowed from the heart, the rhyming structure was impeccable and every stanza made perfect sence.

    Well done mate

    5/5

    Gary

  • 16 years ago

    by TinyDancer46

    Wow, this is great so far... The rhyming scheme is perfect.

    Can't wait to read the rest!