Cold slumber of her

She lived for you.
She died for you.
She loved you.
And even cried for you

You said you'd be together forever.
If that were true...
Then where are you now?
The day of her funeral?

You taught her
that not all guys
are rapists.
That not all guys
treat their loves like shit.
That not all guys
abandon their lovers.

And yet...
YOU did it.
YOU raped her...
of her heart.
Took it
and never gave it back.
YOU abandoned her.
YOU left her.

"I should've seen it coming." She said.
"Her boyfriend even told me it was gonna happen."
"It got to the point you and your BEST friend got into a fight."
"Because even HE saw that you had ME. Someone who cared for you, yet you wanted HER!" She cried.
"...when...you had me..."

She saw it.
She wasn't stupid.
Even though you did not see it.
They all saw it.
You were at her house
EVERY DAY.
When your girlfriend called,
if you were with HER,
you didnt pick up.

You left her.
The girl who
actually loved you
and never used you.
You said it was because of the distance, you did.
But it is just a coincidense
that right after you left her
you left with the one you said
was "Just a friend"?
A friend you said you
"Could never see as more than a friend"?

"I should've seen it coming." She told herself.
"But I was so in love with your lies."
"Your lies of a life together."
"A perfect life. Just me and you."
"I should have known."
"You didn't really love me."
"Only said it to make me happy."

But to make those lies...
there had to be some truth to them... right?
You had to care about her
to make those lies...
right?
You had to care that those lies
are what she really wanted in life.
Those lies of having a life with you.
Or you would not have known that
thats what she wanted.
Am i right?

"I didn't want to loose you."
" Not to her. Not to anyone." she cried.

So when you left her
it killed her.
Expected.
Yet unexpected it was to her.

" I stil love you. Forever I will. Remember that. Don't ever forget that."
You said that that night.
Do you remember that night?
It replays in her head
Every.
Single.
Night.

But you don't care anymore.
Do you?

"No. You don't. You wouldn't be doing this if you did." She cried.

You knew it was killing her.
But you didn't see that it was KILLING her.

Not til you heard pills clashing
and cabinets smashing.
That's when you did what you two almost NEVER did.

"Kyanna."
She flinched. You heard it.
You heard her drop the capsules
at only the sound of her name
leaving your lips
for the very first time
since you two became one.

"So then...its...really over..."
She said.
Her voice
as low as a ghosts.

Silence. Was your response.

"I see..."

"I'm sorry okay!" You yelled.
"I'm soo sorry baby." You cried.
"But please. Don't do this to yourself! Not over me!"
Crying you were now.
It was your turn to cry.

And her turn for her response to be nothing.
Silent she was.
"Baby? Baby please say something!"
Nothing.
She'd hung up.

You called back.
Nothing.
Again you called.

"What." She replied so low.
Her voice almost gone
from crying all night.

"Why baby? Why are you doing this?"
She said nothing.
Only the sound of capsules
being released from their bottles
was her response.

"Babe. Put them back!"

Did you honestly think
that you could save her now?
After killing her?
You thought she'd be better off without you.
Boy were you wrong.
Bet you regret it now,
Dont cha Danny Boy

Silence.
Then...
Finally.
She softly spoke
her ways of death...
"...57 pills...and...a knife Danny boy..."

"Baby please!" You cried.
Really cried now.
She could tell.
You were crying.

Did you feel bad now?
Or did you
just not want
her death on your hands?
Did you really love her?
Or was it all just a lie?
Were you just using her
because you KNEW she would ALWAYS love you?
NO MATTER WHAT

"I am not your baby anymore!" She yelled.
Then softly. As if saying it to herself.
Trying to hide her tears.
"I'm...no ones...baby...no ones...love..."
"Not anymore. Not even a heart to call my own."
"Good bye Danny."

And with that.
She turned off the phone.

For every pill she took
she cut herself.
For every laughing, loving memory she had of him
she cut deeper
For every breath she took with out him by her side
she went even deeper.

And just before she ended it all
She called him and said
"I loved you. I always will. UNCONDITIONALLY."
"I gave you my heart and soul."
"Can you say the same for her?"

With that said
She hung up
and let the permanent slumber
called death
take her.

.........

Until the day
She was to rise
from the death you put upon her
By someone elses hidden love
for her
and
only her...

To
Be
Continued...