If Only...

You can feel the hatred and the undying sense of sadness that fills the air. The center of all this chaos is a girl standing by her locker broken in the heart and alone. She waiting for someone to show up but realizes that that person will never show up, the first period bell ring. For the first time in her life she walk to her first period alone with no one by her side to lead her.

She slowly walks into the classroom dreading the faces and whispers of her peer when she walks in. They all know what happened for it spreads like wild fire. They all see her puffy eyes and the long sleeve she wears to cover up the marks on her arm. They all know it ended last night. They all want details of why she did it. What happened that made her crack.

She takes a seat in the back room trying to get away from the looks of sympathy and wonder. She tries hard to pay attention in class but finds her mind wondering into her past. A past that once was filled with possibility that now will never be fulfilled. A past that will haunt her forever until her dying day.

Suddenly she feels a tear slide down her cheek, as the loss of her love creeps back into her mind. It was not suppose to end this way; this is not what my heart wanted. Hurt, sadness and anger whip through her body. She puts her head down on the desk in shame trying to hide the tears that stream down my face. All the emotion she is feeling is has worn her out as she falls fast asleep on her desk.

The bell rings for the next class.....she is startled back into reality. Only seven more class, she thought to herself trying to get some sort of hope back into her life, I can make it through the day. She stand up and walks out of class with the hint of happiness in her brain but was destroyed in an instance when she felt her heart suddenly break. Her ex is standing at her locker, struggling to open it. People are crowding her, some trying to comfort her the others trying to hear the story of the day. She cant help put stare at her in wonder of what is going to happen next. Will they ever talk again? Will they be able to ever look at each other? Will she ever be able to find another to take her place? A person shoves into her in the hall, her eyes go from her once love straight to the ground....things will never be the same.

People all day tried to come up to her to hear the story of why she finally gave up and broke up with the most beautiful girl in school. They tried to ask what went wrong?? Or how did it happen. She tried so hard to ignore their question but was overwhelmed. She Had to do something....she has to get away. LEAVE ME ALONE...she screamed at the top of her lungs in front of the whole school...JUST LEAVE ME BE.....Her mind was collapsing on her. All she wanted to do was reopen the wounds on her arm from last night. She wants to let the blood flow from her arms onto the floor. For the relief the blood flow brings helps her survive the life she lives. Without it she would be died. With everyone starred at her in wonder she runs to the bathroom to hide so she can commit the up most pleasurable crime.

In the last stale finally free from the other teens eyes she takes out the sharp edged razor and places it upon her already cut up wrist. If only, she thought to herself, I could have done things differently then maybe we would have been all right, maybe we could have made it together in life. Finally she presses the razor deep into her pale skin, the sharpness of the blade makes her scream out in pain will anyone ever care about me again

The cut is beyond deep the razor that she considered her means of survival has failed her, theres no turning back. Slowly the blade falls from her hand onto the blood drenched ground...the life in her body slowly drains out of her deeply cut wound. As her last breath is coming she speaks only one thing ...if only you would have cared enough to save me.

The End