Sucide letter

By the time you read this its going to have been to late; I'm probably growing my wings aND flying up to heaven with the angels, sorry for hurting you guys and making you feel so low but I have been feeling this pain for a long time and its time to stop running to the blade if I'm going to kill myself I'm going to do it: and I did..
The paper is proabably bloody and nasty, but that's how I feel; nasty, ugly; and dHa blade MaDE me like this..
I'm sorry jesus [boyfriend] you know I love you but its something I have to do;
Sorry kayla; bianca; nayomi..
And I'm dearly sorry to my kids [cousins]
Jermey; matthew and melissa [twins]; andrew; and krystal..
Even though mommys not going to be there to wake you up or be there she's still in your heart but babies please dont cry; and dont b afraid; hold my hand and ill show you the way I'm sorry but its my time to go so goodbye..
Because this is my sucide letter