Fallen Tears

Fair poem... I like it ...
keep up this good work :)

This is a good poem. It wasn't as good as the poems I just read, but it's a really good poem. Good job though!

.:CiNdY:.

I am going to just jump right into it.

The use of the word "thing" in your first stanza threw off everything for me .. the word holds no meaning and just kills the flow of the beautiful poem.

"A beautiful girl, the embodiment of perfection
With her perfect body and soul"
^the use of the word "perfect" twice here threw off the flow. It would sound much better if your replaced it with another word. Other than that the imagery in this stanza was amazing.

The third stanza was easy for me to relate with which made it enjoyable to read and see myself in your words.

"Her face transmits nothing but joy
The happiest girl I saw in my life"
^the first sentence .. flawless. the seond sentence .. doesn't make sense. it would sound better as "The happiest girl I've seen in my life."

"This happy girl is a friend of mine
I should be happy to have her by my side"
^Again the use of the same word here throws of the flow. Try using different words to capture your reader.

I liked how your first and last stanza were written similiarly .. it was quite effective in getting your message across. Overall this was great and with the input I've suggested .. it would be amazing. Hope you don't take it personally .. I really did enjoy your poem.

*4/5*

This was amazing. I loved the emotions. Every word made the emotion so strong and powerful.

Good poem it explains todays socity, where people pretend that things are not as bad as they seem. great job
5
(~:Sam Mayo:~)