I remember the day you died. I was next to you at your bedside
Did you know who I was?
I remember you before you died
But I don't think you ever recognized me
Why does life have to be so unfair?
Why did you die when I was so young?
I could have know you better,
I could have loved you more.
We never really knew each other for loads of reasons
You were in hospital for the time that both of us were around
I have a picture of you. It lies next to my bed
The only evidence I have of you.
If you were still alive would you see me as your grandson?
I've changed so much since the last time your eyes saw me
But it won't happen; now they've closed forever.
It was hard for me. It must have been harder for my Mum.
I cried my eyes out at your funeral.
And it wasn't one of those funerals.
I couldn't bear a loss in my family
I wasn't used to it.
They were the years when my life fell apart
You and my great-Grandpa died.
My parents divorced and I felt so alone for the first time.
Only now am I living it to the full
I used to not want to talk about that week
But it would help me to mention it
Keeping it inside was never good
It was part of my ghostly childhood.
I'm a very lucky boy and
I think I'm pretty complete being clever and intellectual
But there is a part of me missing.
I didn't have two Grandmas' when I was growing up.
I know a lot of people don't
But, without being selfish, I wanted two
It would have been easier to deal with the divorce
But I suppose that's just life.
