He who laughs last didn't get it.

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

I hate you because you make me love you.

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Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.