There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

~anonymous~

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.