To handle yourself, use your head, To handle others, use your heart.

Ladies: Showing a great amount of skin when you dress up isn't the way to find prince charming. Prince charming likes his gifts wrapped.

Every man needs a woman when his life is a mess, because just like in a game of chess; the queen protects the king.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

Whatever you give a woman, she is going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. So if you give her crap, you will receive a ton of shit.

Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending.

A strong woman is one who is able to smile this morning like she wasn't crying last night.

Dear Dora, how in the hell did do you get that tiny shirt to fit over your big head...Sincerely, thats physically impossible!

You traded your iPhone 4 for an extra inch? Hope your girlfriend doesn't do the same.

Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'