Christianity

The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father
can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and
telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can
remove an evil force from your soul that is presnt in humanity
because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat
from a magical tree...

yeah, makes perfect sense.

Sounds about right. I'd totally live my life by that.

Ha! That was great. ^_^ I believe that the Bible states things more metaphorically than literally. Well, good luck with that mob of Christains, or any other religion for that matter, that will soon be chasing after you with torches and pitchforks. Be careful with what you say! The mods will hunt you down!

I dont' see anything wrong with it lol

alot of christians look at other religions like
"hey that can't be true cause look there's nothing logical in it. Jesus was a real person who bled and everything"

well... read the story a little closer. It's got alot of holes in it

Oh I don't mean to say that I'm offending or anything. I'm just saying that a lot of other people may get angry at that even though you may just mean it in a fun and games sort of way poking fun at it. I'm open to a lot religions. As long as no one is forcing it on me or telling me I'M WRONG WRONG WRONG without giving me ANY reasons I'm cool with them. ^_^

Oh and yes I agree with the holes things. Then again if we knew everything we wouldn't be having this thread right now. I think the Adam and Eve thing is a bit odd. I'm a scientist of sorts and I know that before MAN was created we had Cro-Magnons (there is prooooooffff!) and such making it hard for me to believe that they were ACTUALLY people. Yes Cro-Magnon's were not human, they were a different species that we supposedly derived from. I mix science with religion.

Lol sound about right... but this wasn't so much poking as i got mad one day at a friend type thing lol

then i read it and thought it was pretty funny and more along the true lines

Ah cool. Oh I edited a tad. I didn't want to post two things in a row. So be sure to go back and read below. ^_^

I don't fully agree with the mix between science and religion but alot of times i agree with the statement "where science stops God begins," for the sole purpose of not knowing what the hell is going on. To me that's all religion really is. People trying to find an explaination for everything science leaves out.

Exactly. A lot of people look at the whole evolution thing and feel that they can only believe in science or God. I for one believe that God created science to sort of stabilize the earth. For whatever reason people can believe many scientific things and then when it comes to evolution they automatically think it goes against religion. If they really believe that science goes against religion then they won't believe in gravity, math, or anything else for that matter that can be explained logically. Gee I hope that came out right. Well you get what I mean and I hope everyone else gets where I'm going too.

Very interesting

xx

I wish that was true... so much so that I'm praying for it... But it seems a tad cliche... don't you think?

I mean in Judaism, Lilith is the first wife of adam, who is the first feminist who wouldn't allow a man to be on top... so she fled and became the mother of all monsters...

I could say that in Islam, Prophet Muhammed sat in a cave was visited by an angel and was tortured when he was told to memorise by heart the words that would become the Quran...

I can reference these somewhat historical events and put it in today's context and funnily enough it will become a joke... Much like the Bush administration (a shoddy contrast but it fits).

The existance of concepts that can neither be proved or unproved should be left undiscussed...

Either you build a time machine and go back to those times or let those who believe... believe!

My thought is we dont really know anything until we die and then see what is in the afterlife so i just dont think about it.
ill know the truth when i die.

xx

I take that to strong ofence !!!!!!!!!!

ok jesus was and stilll is son ov god he was a normal human ok and when u think about it u try going into a desart for 50 days being tempeted bye the devil and see how u feel god did not help him threw that and the snake was satan a fallen agel who thought he was better then god himself so he got kicked out and i feel sorry for u iff u do not know god for he is all that is , and i say that from persomal experince ok .

and evan if u go 2 church that dose not make u a chrstain ok u have to take in all that is said in the house of god like the serman

heres a story my friend thinks she is chrstain cuz she comes to church but she allways walkout be4 th serman starts then comes back in after the serman then at school she thinks she has the right to say um i am a chrstain , no thats not being a christain and u should bost about it anyway

thnak u and good bye

ps i am 12 :)

^ i can tell by your millions of spell errors...

just because you are christian doesnt make your opinion the only one that matters. there are other religions in the world that are not christianity, and you are going to learn in time to respect other people's beliefs.

in my opinion, i think the whole idea is a bit silly. i would life PROOF that any of this happened. no. the bible is not proof. god did not write it. anyone could have written that when it was made as a practical joke, could they not? do you have proof to prove otherwise?

ov=of. evan=even. chrstain=christian. ofence=offense. desart=desert. bye=by. iff=if. persomal=personal.

thats enough of a spelling lesson today. [word of advice: don't use words you can't spell]

"thnak" you, and goodbye

Sitting through church and listening to a sermon doesn't make you a Christian.

Oh, man. I loved the first post of this topic.

Yeah, I used to have to listen to a sermon every Sunday with a glazed expression. Now I'm forced to do it only every Christmas, although now it makes much more sense to make fun of the priest.

This is so lame, apparently we're not beyond talking about religion, it's obvious one side will got give way to the other, it's just a repeat of the same old show

Everyone has their own beliefs and are entitled to them. I don't see the point of fighting over religions.

Leave Jesus alone!
he's cool! haha

dood, you got the religion all wrong. Its more about getting to know the dood that sacrificed himself for you and following him.

I'll keep on saying this until you guys get this, don't judge christianity and Christ from his followers.

see this is the cool thing, this is the thing that separates Christ from all the other religions of this world. He loves you even if you don't believe He exists :)

Christ was a real dood, there are historical records of a man by the name of Jesus Christ that lived on the earth during biblical times outside of the Bible.

Christ was a real man, that is fact. The question is, was he really the son of the living God?

"The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father
can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and
telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can
remove an evil force from your soul that is presnt in humanity
because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat
from a magical tree..."

With all due respect Mr. Kilman, your summary of Christianity not only leaves much to be desired, it seems to be a diversion from the truth, rather than a conversion to the truth

When someone uses words like Zombie, telepathically, and magical, something is lost in the translation. That is of course if you were asking about "The Truth the Way and the Life " But in another sense there are no absolutes in our common era were the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help us God has not yet been reached in the year of "Our Lord 2008"

I have enjoyed the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil which has driven us to the insanity of conflict

I hope no one is offend by my theories

Origin of a feces thesis
That quote inspires me to do some stinking thinking. Let's suppose that my greatest grandfather was born in a mass of primordial "Substances High In Transmutations" or SHIT . Please pardon this acronym. Let me explain I am not saying that my greatest grandfather began in a pile of shit. I am saying that life came from "Substances High In Transmutations" or SHIT at least from a purely scientific theory
Now let's theorize that in order to be SHIT, you have to take SHIT. [Organic matter consumes organic matter}
This presents a problem in the law of opposites though, and philosophers have pondered this mystery to determine who gives a SHIT. Because Substances High In Transmutations can be broken down to a simpler DNA, which I understand is a the substance of life. Some people believe that SHIT just happens, but others say they don't know SHIT, because in order to know all about SHIT you have to be SHIT for a long time. Some folks feel like SHIT, but most people spend their whole life trying to get their SHIT together. If one can find the synthesis where opposites meet and merge that would be where all this SHIT began. The paradox is that if I am more full of SHIT than my greatest grandfather was, then there would seem to be some "Good Orderly Direction" involved, but if I say that GOD created SHIT I am going to get burned as bad as Giordano Bruno did from one side, and the other side will say that I am really full of Papal Bull SHIT.

Oh well I can always work on a theory explaining why every thing in the universe is getting farther apart
Well let's see, there is more room out than there is in. and they have almost proven there was a big bang
Let's see what about the cosmic Farther Apart Reaction Theory, or cosmic FART
.Damn it!!!

Matter cannot be created, nor destroyed just because you can dilute it or flush it....it is not gone
The truth always comes out. "The end"

PS I am not an atheist, but I am not against free thinking

When we all think alike heaven, and earth will unite

Well this is all really sad =[

it's sad that christians like myself have made such a name for ourselves.

And it's sad that their is so much hatred towards different beliefs.

but I think I'm more mad at Christians..because this topic wouldn't even exist if we were living by what the bible says..and I'm pretty sure it doesn't say to go out and ATTACK every non-believer with your gonna go to hell if you don't believe what I believe. That's soooo unfortunate because what we should be doing you guys is loving everyone and not calling them out for coming from a different way of life. no one is crazy for believing in something and no one is crazy for not believing in it..But CHRISTIANS..Be one..and love everyone in a way that you would want to be loved..if you didn't believe in God..then how would you like someone to attack you for it..You don't have to spit the bible at someone..Walk in love and EVERYTHING will come into place. That is your biggest witness of Christ is love..because that's all he is..and that's what they need to see is love. Not hatred.

For 13 Kristen you are wise beyond your years, very well said.

Thats an interesting opinion.

God doesn't follow the laws of physics, you are correct, but that doesn't make him powerless to the world he created. The physics of our world do not apply to God, they don't restrict Him, He's above them. God does not dwell in this world but in Heaven, but He created this world so basically He can do things that are physically impossible according to what He created.

example: raising from the dead (Christ who is God in flesh)

Sort of like buffy the vampire slayer...right?

Well thanks..but I didn't know I was 13 ..last I checked I was about 16 lol..silly poetry site =]

Good point dood.
and I'd like to add if someone did make a topic purely just to preach the word of God that person would be persecuted by a lot of people.

It would start a commotion.

I hate these two types of people a lot:
Christian-bashers
and
Atheist-bashers

just freaking get along.

"Maybe I'm wrong, and if I am I accept defeat, but I don't see many Christians who create preaching topics, why are you preaching your crap against Christians?"

I'm assuming this is towards what I said?

Well..if it's a preaching topic I created then it's because it's been bugging me for a long time when I read this stuff. I'm a Christian and I want to set the best example possible so that maybe someone will see Christ in me and want that too. So when I see Christians bashing other people for their beliefs I find that totally wrong. It doesn't set a good example when you don't respect someone for what they believe..it doesn't set you apart at all. And it's not walking in Christ's love. If they really want to see someone get saved then I believe they would have a lot more love towards people who don't believe what they believe.

So I guess What I'm saying is just that I want to see more christians on here spreading the love brotha ;]

Religion isn't about morals, at all. Christianity is a relationship, not a religion. not a religion.

this is one of the significant differences between christianity and other religions. Our God came down through through his son Jesus Christ and became a man, and experienced mortality. And out of love, allowed his son to be tortured, humiliated and die by being hung to a cross just to bridge a gap separated by sin between Him and his creation.

Christianity is so popular worldwide because people see something real and so different in it. What other religion do you get to know the God that created you? In what other religion does the God sacrifice His son or himself just for you? None.

now tell me, how is Christianity just like any of the religions in this world?

Judaism dood.
almost had it :]

the other religions still aren't anything like christianity. (Judaism is almost there but nothing like Christianity)

the single reason why the other religions aren't anything like Christianity is because they don't get to know their God(s.)

Christianity is NOT based on morals. not at all. and We (as a whole) don't think atheism is savage or immoral, at all.

Thats actually the second greatest commandment in Christianity
"love your neighbor as yourself"

(the first is "love you God with all your heart soul mind and strength"

in what other religion did their God come down to earth, experienced humanity and out of love sacrificed Himself?

God did come down to settle it, His name is Jesus Christ and he did it 2008 years ago bro.

Back then if Christ was tried, for escaping his tomb then He'd be guilty.

There were witnesses, a lot of witnesses.

Jesus was a real dood, fact. Now if he really was the son of God is the true question. There were a lot of people who saw Him after He died, at different times. There numerous eye witness accounts. He was certainly dead and his tomb was empty when they came back three days after.

logically, the illogical happened.

trust me its not just a story

"Why bash Christianity? We don't go around bashing you all for what you think."

Many Christians do though and thus many tend to look at the group as a whole. Using your own beliefs to condemn a group of people for their lifestyle being one facet of mistrust towards Christians, but lets not get into the homosexual debate lol Church can be representative of many egregious lies, when some of their crimes are brought to light and it is hard for some people to believe in an institution that can not behave as it expects its followers to behave. Just as there are those inside of faith who speak out against the way some live, there are those who speak out against them, it is a never ending cycle because both sides believe they are right.

I've said this a billion times before.

DO NOT judge Christianity, Jesus Christ or all the Christians in the world (aka the Family of God) on what the Church or certain Christians have done, or what they think.

I've also said this in this forum before, which no one caught.

I hate these two types of people:
Christian-bashers
&
Atheist-bashers

its idiotic to just go around hungry for the flesh of the ones who think differently then you.

it annoys me, a lot. The whole reason behind this thread being started is annoying. Really.

We as Christians (and most of the one's I know practice this, completely) are taught to love everyone. The second greatest commandment is "to love your neighbor as yourself". Which is why it breaks my heart when I see Christians verbally abusing Atheists. Thats no where near what we are called to do.

Yah I know, that part was agreeing with James.

Ok ummmm i more thing

do u know that julisis cecser yea well that guy there r only 7 scrolls that he was real when the bible was like a whole heap od scrolls all ova the place then but in 1 book ok and yea sure iff u r not a cristain i am not gonna force it done ur throuhts ok i respect that but u have to respect us ok. i try and protect what i bielive but u say i should repset YOU! well repsect me and others like me iff u think that jesus just this freak then that ur lose so go ahead just put ur self if my shoes evry were u go people r bad mothing what i belive i go to school and people say weres the proof of god and all thati answer them calmly and they just go pfft yea right some just made that up and i just walk away so yea how about u repect us for a change

thanx for reading

"put yourself if my shoes everywhere u go people r bad mouthing what i believe"

This is true for many of us, not just Christians. I think it better that everyone respects EACH OTHER for a change. It is tireless to believe it will ever change, all you can do is live the way you want to live and believe the way you want to believe. No one will escape criticism of their beliefs, there will always be an opposing view.