Grey days

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Totally there with you, man. Don't let life get you down.

You're an intelligent, fun-loving guy, Nicko, and you're passionate about the people you care about. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Maybe you're not looking in the right places, or you're not giving the right woman a chance.
Someone will turn up soon.

I think where you are now, is where you've brought yourself. I am not too old, you know 21...but sometimes I feel like I'm 40 years old, it's actually sad but good at the same time. I've learned a lot through the experiences that I have lived although none were on time, some were too early.

Life is always full of doubts, especially if we are not capable of living life alone, we always relate our happiness to the presence of that 2nd person, when in fact our life is just the same without them, difference is that, they do complete it, but happiness and content isn't what people can bring you. It's how you love your lonesome and yourself that makes life easier.

Loneliness on the other side is very hard, and I am not talking about being "alone" no one is alone, we all have people around us, but we need people to be there, and I am quite sure, you'd find thhat person who would share you, your morning cup, your cold nights and your happy days, but make sure it's someone who would also enjoy spending with you the boring days too.

I don't think it's a dream or something impossible, I just think that if you woud find that person you would be lucky, destiny plays a very dangerous role in our lives, according to my thinking.

I babbled a lot, no? I'm just trying to say that you are not the only one, nor will be the only one, I am sure ever single one is upset lost and doubtful somewhere somehow, just make sure you make yourself happy everynow and then, even if you will be doing it alone.

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Yet even those of us that are together are often alone that soul mate we all seek though so often never find
^

very true ...

you can over for tea or coffee anytime Nicko Nicko Nicko
I love talking, it's my favorite hobby.

Nicko,
More than once I started over, physically, emotionally and spiritually drained. I went through times where I did not care to put one more ounce of invested energy into my so called life. Things got better. I met the love of my life, my children are people I'm proud of, I'm living the life I choose and I feel I am helping people improve their lives. All because I refused to back off living.

Hang in there - as one who has been there, I promise you can make a difference in your own life.

My grey days were when I was WITH someone sadly....being young and in relationships just don't seem worth it half the time. I'm enjoying my time of solitude right now and focusing on myself (careers, dreams, etc)....I think that's the best way to go about it is focus on setting up your life without distractions. Having a mate is VERY distracting....when you're ready in all aspects of life, that's when I think is the best time to ready your heart and start looking for someone. To live now disappointed that you've never met your soul mate is just wasting time you could be spending getting to know yourself more. :)

Hang in there sweets, there is no frame when it comes to meeting someone.

Its normal for an intelligent and reflective person to feel this way.

No matter how rational we human beings are, we can't help but proceed with life without putting too much burden of contemplation over our day to day actions. And its good that way, it makes everything unpredictably happy and exciting, and at times (at varying degrees) unpredictably sad and mortifying as well.

But just imagine an exaggerated neurotic having panic attacks deciding what to wear on sunday morning... so we make choices, which results to a string of events mostly puppeteered by chance. And when we do reflect on them, our current life, we are alarmed to discover we are not where we want to be. Like a sailor searching for a treasure island for decades, which also spent the majority of the journey drinking, and enjoying life, sharing it with his crew, only to end up at a wrong island.

Now ask yourself if you were the sailor, would you have rather spent those decades locked in the cabin with red scribbles on a map, and a tired eye squinting to a telescope? Or would you have rather lived like the sailor and spent the journey just living it?

You've made your choices, decisions, you may think they were wrong now but you'll never know. But they were probably the best choices during that time. No regrets, you wouldn't be who you are today even if you just revised a tiny blot in your past story.

I can not believe this nicko
I had total diffident views of you in my mind.
self-pity was not one of them. it is not what a soldier would do!!

haha but if all these is for sympathy, you know where to find it in dictionary

or if it is to win me back, I am too young in heart, for you .

This year has been pretty difficult for me in so many ways.I don't know where I am now. Maybe I have never known but at least, I am alive, my family is here with me and life does go on. My father used to say:
"I came to this world bald, naked and without teeth. See now I have everything. I am a winner."
See Nicko, we are winners. Love will find you.Just a matter of time.

"Yet at times I look within to see if I am wanting for some virtue that others possess that i am sadly lacking.."

I don't think that's a bad thing, Nicko. We're all made differently and there is purpose behind it. Jason and I are definitely not the same people and he has pieces to him that are not even similar to mine, but that creates the balance. We have similar foundations and values, however he is patient and logical, I am impatient and emotional, for example. I looked for that. I don't want to be with someone just like me.

I have the same in my friendships as well.. I feel it's necessary. That balance is SO important to have.

Gosh this whole thread is so touching I kinda have a lump in my throat, embarrassingly haha what kind words have been written here - ones that I actually need to hear at times. I'm 20 and am learning what it means to be me after 5 years of being in relationships. Bloody scary haha but I'm learning to embrace the doubts, explore the uncertainties... Let go of the disappointments but

Build better dreams! And get excited about them again

Nicko, I barely know you at all, but your words are ones I've spoken before. And I promise, you don't have to doubt alone :)

Http://youtu.be/LBpn-P_h8n0

It was one of my hard years though my sister who passed made it a bit easier by embracing her pain. A pessimist will focus on the gray cloud in front of the silver lining
The last time I indulged myself in tears I forgave myself quickly
http://youtu.be/uA4JyAONd_I

"I'm just wondering if anybody has gone through the same things that I'm going through now. Where life is full of doubts, of where I end up...."

^Many ways to describe it...some call it "mid-life crisis", others an "empty nest syndrome". (Wikepedia...the certified illegal source may give a better description for what people between 40-60 sometimes go through). One way to beat is to stay busy... working, volunteering, socializing with peer groups, etc. Another way, perhaps is to find a homing pigeon, and nest with her....the latter is not always easy, but as some will say, where there is a will there is a way.

Hope this is innocuos enough suggestion. What do you say A...? and the team.

I think that keeping busy is usually an excellent idea, ALS. The problem is usually motivation, though.

Far be it from me to give you any unwarranted advice, Nicko, but didn't you say you like going to the gym? Exercise is really good at beating grey... apparently. I haven't tested it as I personally hate the idea. But, hey, it could work for you.

Plus, it's a great place to meet people. I've heard.

Sweat out that sadness, Nicko, and get buff while you're at it. Kill 2 birds with one stone. Then your porch will be filled with all of the hot-and-bothered people you could ever want.

Wow...that sounded insensitive. I think you get me, though.

Here is some inspiration....from a poem:

My Life in Five Chapters - Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost...I am hopeless. It
isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole
in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in
again. I can't believe I'm in the same place. But it
isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole
in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in...it's a
habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is
my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole
in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

^ I think Nick, you want to study chapter 4 & 5, and find ways how to avoid the mid-life pothole.
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Nicko...So unlike you to put something so personal up here but...I'm so glad you did....not that I really know the answer to your question...all I can do is add to the comments (mostly good) that have already been given but....mine is a little more abstract haha!!!!

Can you imagine yourself being two feet tall for one day?...looking through the eyes of someone who may be 2 years old? Get down on your knees and look around from that perspective...what can you see? Yes, we think we know what's down there because we've been there but...go back, remembering that this small person has yet to discover the world of tallness! It's a magical place really...crawling under beds and doing dust drawings on the floorboards where grandma forgot to sweep...hiding in the broom cupboard under the stair because you can still fit in there...that kind of thing. Then look at the stove...look at the sink and realise you can't reach either so does that make you dependent on someone else to provide food and water.

We can live without people....I'm sure the 2 year old would adapt and find a way to food and water. IMO...it's just a need that has been programmed into our minds and not really necessary for survival.

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Shit Nicko..I was so looking forward to you coming back and telling me what it was like in the world of little peeps???? and....I did have an answer about getting served in the bars when you're a short arse.....:)

It was a trip it was like walking in a mirror house
reflection pouring upon each other everywhere, one more glorified than the other, everywhere but on the steel muscles.
it is so overwhelmingly tender, when is politically correct!!
putting niceness for auction.

hehe beautiful, what it is!!

Life is a game of boomerang but instead of your acts, your intentions come back at you in the long run.

It was a trip it was like walking in a mirror house
reflection pouring upon each other everywhere, one more glorified than the other, everywhere but on the steel muscles.
it is so overwhelmingly tender, when is politically correct!!
putting niceness for auction.

hehe beautiful, what it is!!

^^^

I broke the tip off a cone today...you know the wafer things you put ice cream on and...looking through it at the circles, they were getting bigger and bigger as I got further/nearer the end of the cone....man that was something but then...I pointed the cone towards the sun and suddenly half the circle was missing and yet...it was still infinate...

Hellon, I can relate. My life is filled with these moments of entrancement, specialty when I was growing up.

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yes the place of niceness is not on the pedestal, because it is the pedestal itself.

How would you define a pedestal exactly?

Niceness is not something to anons is something to be

Niceness is not something that can be seen by the human eye where as a pedestal can be observed so really...you didn't answer my question???

I did, through you :)(: