Weekly Contest Results July 29th

Good Morning Everyone,
Let me just start off by thanking our judges who have taken the time
and effort to read each and every nominated poem and providing insightful
comments for their choices. There was a two way tie between hiraeth’s poem:
the dying of a blackbird and In my head by ImTheGirl with 10 points each and
the site broke the tie. Congrats to all those who received a HM and congrats to the
front page winners: Mark, hiraeth and Ben Pickard.
//WINNERS//:

My Ever Known by Mark (17 points)

the dying of a blackbird” by: hiraeth (10 points)

As The Bomb Hits by Ben Pickard (27 points)

//COMMENTS//:

“the dying of a blackbird” by: hiraeth (10 points)

This poem had so much detail and content, that it’s genuinely difficult to
comment on. You could easily argue that this is more prose than poetry;
the writer’s voice really stands out towards the end. Amongst the vocabulary
gymnastics lies a very bare and fragile narrator. My only criticism is that it’s
pace is a little awry, and sometimes over worded. Having said that, this poem
paints a vast and gorgeous picture, which boasts so much imagery, it beckons
to be reread multiple times.
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As The Bomb Hits by Ben Pickard (10points)

The images in this poem are so vivid and realistic that its like you are really
there in the head of the soldier as he experiences this terrible event. It takes
a talent indeed to portray so well the realism of someone else's experience.
Cleverly describing not only the sights (the rain painted rouge, heavy with flesh
and body parts) but also the sound (Pain drenched wailings) and smell (a foundry
has never smelt so damn metallic). The combination of which brings to life
the realism and hellish experience of what is worst about war. "Swimming to
shore feels like swimming through sludge, which is funny because I was always
such a strong swimmer" makes it clear that it is not the water itself that is
causing him problems but the emotional toll of what has just happened. Finally
those last words "Quietly, now, quietly" the last reveal that despite surviving
the bomb when others have been so cruelly massacred that it is not over - his
life is still in danger and he has to get away to a place of safety. This is so spookily
real that it felt like being in the head of the person who actually experienced it. Just
totally blown away.
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As The Bomb Hits by Ben Pickard (7 points)

War is an awful horrible thing. So much is lost and so many people are both
physically and mentally damaged. Ben's poem this week brought us a front
row seat to the movement a bomb hits and a first person account of its aftermath.
It's graphic, it's gritty, it's a smack in the face. As awful as war is Ben has written
this piece so very eloquently, not an easy task given the content.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the bomb hits... by Ben Pickard (10 points)

I could feel the poem while reading it. I could hear things, smell things too.
I love how you started the poem the three dots and the first stanza as a whole.
It left a strong impression on me. It felt like someone has been through it all.
Then comes the lack of full stops; I read through the poem with so little pauses
there was tension in it.
While reading the second and third stanza, I got chills. The rain made me picture
a man wet with rain while blood drips off his face. Then comes the mockery of
biology, how did you even think of that?
“And the stench! a foundry has never smelt
so damn metallic”
^
Before reading those two lines, I could already imagine the smell. And I like
how you did not capitalize the “a” after the exclamation mark. Somehow gave
me the impression that the poem is a part of someone’s journal.
“quietly, now.”
^
Here comes the long pause, like a moment of appreciation, like saying a prayer
for all the lives lost.

“quietly”
It ends....
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My Ever Known by Mark (7 points)

When love is ripped away too quickly through early death it seems so unfair.
Why is it that when on the brink of happiness it can be the case that love is
snatched away before the door has barely opened? Despite the passing of years
her grave remains crisp and new even though he himself has continued to age.
He is coming to the end of his life and is now in a dark place questioning what
will happen once he has gone. "When winds alike too take my oldest breaths"
and he rests in eternal sleep". He wonders if when he passes will they then
finally at last be together? If not then he would rather have the worms leave
them so that at least the remnants of who they were would still remain rather
than the nothing that awaits him if he cannot be reunited with her.
This poem mirrors a concern that many couples have. Since it is inevitable that
at some point in life one of you will pass before the other. What gives hope is
the thought that once you have passed that there is still a chance that you will
again see your loved ones. To believe that there is nothing else that you will
never see them again is a bitter pill to swallow. So this poem with its beautifully
sad metaphors really is visiting the age old haunting question of what happens
when you pass? Do you go on to a new life or do you just become nothing more
than dust?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Ever Known by Mark (10 points)

Marks poem this week gives us a man forever mourning his lost love. Though he
continues to age, her death has stopped time for him. I think that is how
many feel when a loved one dies. You seem forever stuck in this loop of forever
missing. He holds out hope they will reunite in death. A beautiful thought I
think we all hope for.
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//HM’s//:

Shadows in The Night by Lainie Reay (4 points)

Mañana by Daniel (4 points)

Rose” by: Yakari Gabriel (4 points)

I am afraid by Adastra (7 points)

Tree by [M(/)U] (7 points)

If Only I Could Write a Sonnet [ sonnet ]” by: Everlasting (7 points)

La Chasse a L’amour by Larry Chamberlin (8 points)

In My Head by ImTheGirl (10 points)

//COMMENTS//:

“Rose” by: Yakari Gabriel (4 points)

Yakari’s poetry often exudes confidence and self belief, and her poem ‘Rose’
is a self empowering gut punch. She speaks of lovers who never appreciated
her, people who have criticised her, those who have tried to pick, jab, poke at
her. And gladly, proclaimed she is above them. I enjoyed reading this, and
couldn’t help but smile.
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Shadows In The Night by Lainie Reay (4 points)

First of all, welcome to P&Q :)
In the beginning I thought this maybe about anxiety, stress, or those
thoughts that keep mumbling to us at night. And then it took me to my
childhood, and in fact it was all that, but accompanied by innocence. For me
I was always afraid of silence more than anything, and then the monster
under my bed. I had to cover my feet really well, even when I’m feeling hot.
It is really funny that mothers are the same, they have to check up on their
children, whenever they (the mothers) wake up at night.
I really like this!!
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La Chasse a L’amour by Larry Chamberlin (4 points)

I don't think there is anything more romantic than being by the sea with a
loved one. Dancing barefoot on the waves, playing and chasing along the
beach inspires images of young love, laughter and love. This poem is filled
to the brim with all things love and romance. Dancing barefoot on the clouds,
souring on the lips of a storm and letting the jet streams carry love to her
across mountains and glaciers. Any woman would love to receive such a
beautifully romantic poem from the man she loves with its immediate
warm feel good fuzzy feeling. Romance at its best...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
La Chasse a L' Amour by Larry Chamberlin (4 points)

Larry's poem this week tells of his love for his wife. Even when they
are apart his love is always with her and her to him. This is a beautiful
journey these two have been on and Larry has never been afraid to let
his feelings known to all of us here on P&Q and for that I thank him.
Because of this we get these beautiful love poems that are truly a joy to read.
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In My Head by ImTheGirl (10points)

Sometimes we all have this moment in our lives whether the out there
extroverts, shyly quiet introverts, or the combination of both as in a
ambivert a we all seem to keep in some deep part of ourselves closed off
from everyone else for it's in our nature to keep something closed off and
on this poem you can see the struggle of how life can be and how unique
words can truly be. Different outlets can show the emotions we can or
want to hide away so the world goes round. Conflict can linger in the mind
if we let it and that's why being a poet or writer is the best thing to happen
to let an outlet grow and become something beautiful to be shared.
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Mañana by Daniel (4 points)

At first glance you have to either Google the title since it's in Spanish or
know Spanish and because I was curious about the title I was drawn into
the poem and I don't regret it because it was like something you couldn't
wait to read to the end. Tomorrow indeed will be magnificent if you have
someone to love or have someone there for you. Good read
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I am afraid by Adastra (7 points)

Such sweet shortness of a poem but it seems to summarize the fear of
human trust and love, you can never truly know what's in the hearts of
others unless you study them and even then you might not know what
ticks in them. Finding out that what they are and what you see inside are
the mysteries of life and therein lays the last line of the poem we NEVER
truly know anything so trusting will always be a gamble if we win well hell
we're blessed if we fail we're screwed all in all it's a game of chance so never
fail to have fun!
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Tree by [M(/)U] (7 points)

There is something about this piece absorbed me.
It started with the first two lines, as a really typical poem about a tree,
that is actually titled “Tree”.
Then it took a slight turn, the tree keeps “feeling” someone coming closer,
and how different they are from each other. But there is longing for the person.
“I could hear the distance between our worlds.”
^
The use of hear here shows a characteristic of the tree and the poet. The
tree listens to peoples worries but doesn’t reply, so does the poet.

And the ending line throws the harsh reality; the tree can’t reach the person
for it cannot walk. Loved this!!
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“If Only I Could Write a Sonnet [ sonnet ]” by: Everlasting (7 points)

The poet, perhaps accidentally, penned an extremely well written sonnet
which has enough wit and nuance to receive one of my votes. Poetry that
doesn’t take itself seriously yet remains credibly written is difficult. Lucero
really pulled it off with this sonnet.

Congratulations to the winners! Thank you judges for your time as always, and to the judge who left that thoughtful comment on my poem.

Have a happy Monday!

Well done to all the winners

Thank you for the lovely words

Lainie x

Well done to all those highlighted and thank you to the judges for their thoughtful comments on my poem.

Have a great week, all.

Thank you Judge for your wonderful comment. Thank you Meena for hosting and congrats to all the other winners and those who picked up a HM :)

Congrats to all! Thank you to our judges, for their time and thoughts, and to Meena for hosting.

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! Awesome writing everyone! Meena, thank you for hosting and all the judges for making the tough picks amongst all these amazing pieces.