Do I have a right to Hate her???

Ok, here's the deal. My boyfriends, best friends name is Stacey. One night, they did things I'd rather not go into detail about, and he cheated on me with her... She's Always tried to take him away and I never did trust her, but I trusted him... So after that happened *clutches heart*..Anyway, again less detail... Thing is, I'm more mad at her than I am mad at him. He actually showed some remorce and said sorry and cried and was shaking and... Well genuinly sorry; however, the times she said sorry it was more like :

"I'm sorry, but you should have seen it coming. We're close - you know that."

and after I didn't forgive her for taht apology because it was just ..... angering... She said,

"I really am sorry I try to steal your boyfriend alot. You know I really like him, and I didn't know I'd get him that time..."

What is that??? Ok, it's been months..and I still hate her.
I hate hating anyone. I never hold this much against someone. I mean, she says 'hi' and I want to slap her across the face with my cats poo....

Should I still hate her? Am I being harsh and rediculous? I just feel like I should be cutting her more slack... But - she almost ruined everything. So yanno, who's the bitc--- poo-poo head in this situation? I almost feel like it's me... I'm not even giving her a true chance to redeem herself.

totally agree ^

*sigh*....

Thanks for your thoughts guys. Unfortunately (yet fortunately at the same time), me and the bf are on great terms at the moment and I'm not about to throw it away. This was months ago, it's only Her that's bothering me now... I surprise myself sometimes. *awkward glances*

I know where ur coming from with that, iv been in a SIMILAR situation, more of frnd stealing thing tho. its becosas girls we expect other girls 2 kno the deal, lets face it guys can b quite clueless. we expect other girls 2 kno better, which is y ur more upset with her evn if they r both equally 2 blame

n at first my frnd denied wat she did was wrong too. her sayin hi, is her way of trynna get 2 u cos from her quotes shes enjoying this

What. A. Ho. And I'm talking about both of them there. Wise up, girly. Seriously, you deserve way better than this. If I were you, I would have... 'poo-poo head' slapped her. She sounds like a real 'poo-poo head' though, your boyfriend is not completely innocent in all this. Don't let him treat you this way! Would you stay with a guy after he hit you? This is pretty much the same except, instead of doing you physical harm, he's doing you emotional harm. Why be commited to a relationship if he can't keep it zipped? I know it's hard when they smile or make cute faces at you, but you gotta kick that cheating dog to the curb...or, if you were me, kick him somewhere a little bit more excruciating.

Steph it would do you good to get rid of both of them. However, you need to forgive them...for yourself. All of that anger & hatred will mess you up. let it go & let them go with it.
Move on with your life with someone who will give you the respect you deserve. From my own personal expierence, once they cheat on you they will do it again...I don't care how sorry they say they are. I am not trying to be negative, it's just what I have found to be true.
You deserve someone better.
Take care

Steph: Hun I Don't Blame You Any For How Your Feeling...What Happened Was Wrong Of Her & Him, How Can You Be Angry At Her For What He Did? Like Bob Stated, He's YOUR BOYFRIEND....Shes Not, Girls Will Try & Take Your Boyfriend Just To See If They Can, I Do It All The Time & It Works (Not Saying Its Right) But You Can't Honestly Just Stay With Some 1 Who Cheated On You Just Because They Cried And Apologized Sincerly...Ever Heard Of a Sincere Lie? I Have Em' All The Time xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

hun i was in that same situation not more than two years ago..i realize that was long truth is ...it does still hurt....but thats beside the point. see the girl my guy cheated on me with happened to be my best friend. truth be told i didnt forgive her...right away, and well i kicked that guy to the curb...even though he begged me. yes it took me awhile to let the whole thing go....but i did. im not about to rekindle the friendship with her, because she betrayed my trust..and so did the guy. what im trying to say is, holding grudes never helps. if you're gonna keep this guy, you might as well forgive this stacy chick, because if she really is one of his best friends...then she'll be sticking around for a loooong time.

-dominique

Thanks lots Dominique. And thanks to everyone else for saying something. I really appreciate the help, and now with what dominique has said, I've chosen to give her the full second chance. No matter how hard it may be. I didn't really like her inthe first place, but it's true - she will be stickin' around for a long time... Though I talked to my bf about it, and he said he didn't mind me hating her so much, he's just so greatful I forgave him. He also offered to never see her again and move on - he was offering to choose me over her, well before I brought that option up. That's gotta say something...Right? Well maybe I'm being naive, but maybe I'm doing the right thing. I guess all that can help now is time. Lets see where this goes eh... Thanks again, I'm so glad to know I've always got someone there for me - no matter what happens.Much love and thanks - stefhy

Yup. Hate her with no remorse.

L vA, x

Well, this is what I think. According to her so called "Apologies" I wouldn't think it was ridiculous. It's an effort, but its no where near the amount of effort she should be applying to the situation. Just because a little time passes, doesn't mean forgive and forget. I wouldn't stop hating her until I got an apology worth accepting, not some bull crap excuse like "You should have seen it coming."

But thats just my opinion.

its not being mean. hey, i wouldve done the same exact thing you did, except with more voilence and cursing..but anywhoo, yeah. shes a biznatch..

lol I think you're the first stacey I like and have actualy given youa chance, even though your name is Stacey... She's ruined that name for me, I used to love it, and now when I hear it I'm usually just.... Grrrr... But I liked your answer :P lol, so thankyou :).

And umm, just to fill everyone in that has been a part of this..even if it might not mean anything to you, I just want to make sure no one gets the complete wrong impression of my bf.. As he has decided (by himself) to drop her all together, now that he knows what she's up to... And everytime he ignores her, she gets pissed off and does something stupid to something of his... Or, like on msn - he'll block her, and she found out his password through his friend, and keeps going on his account... She basically turns everyone against him and calls me things on his account so that I get mad at him... but that just proves she's stupid, because whenever she signs in on his account with her computer- there's a differen't display picture and name... how could she not think that through? Does she really think she's getting away with it? Gawsh She's A Retard.... ok well I'm done...Sorry lol I don't mean to blab and vent, but this part of the forum has really actually helped me out with this situation. It's taking alot of extra weight off the shoulders that I don't need. So I thankyou all very much.

ooooooooooooooooooo id kill her

I'd go with hating them both because the truth is that they both broke your trust
You boyfriend cheated!
and you xfriend betrayed you!

Find some better people to put into your life
and if all and all forgive the boy but the girl
.....honestly she deserves a good A**kicking if you ask me

lol thanks. It always makes me laugh when ppl say stuff like that. I know that sounds so horrible, and I wish I could say something that would make me seem a better person - but she's my mortal enemy and to me, she deserves every giggle or snicker that's comin' outta me :P