Loss of identity

by Sarah

My song has ended...
The melody was corrupted...
Awakened from a dream, to see the unseen

In a dark ally, I was revived
Taken by force without any choice
Not knowing my rights;
never learned how to fight...
Absorbed by fear...mesmerized by what I hear
A nobody I must be !

A warrior of light I once was
Fighting back the darkened echoes of the night
All have died and long gone
Alone I was standing still,
until my day has come...
A truth was revealed; a shock it was..
The light has gone; my world is done
External scars bleeding out,
eternal flames burning my soul to the ground...

Led to prison with iron chains
Giving up is what really scares
A loss of identity is what I suffer
Who I was and who I will be...
Is no longer worth treasure !

 

Submission date : 2008-04-06
Last edit : 2010-02-05

Visits : 2149
Votes : 17
Rating : 4.9

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Latest comments

Goth marionette ( F P C D ) at 2008-10-21

I like that kinda write so much which is sad and deep...U expressed ur pain and sorrow in a simple and touchy way..
I enjoyed reading ur poem:)..
Good job,plz keep it up..

Dark Savior ( F P C D ) at 2008-10-31

Good poem, very descriptive, I enjoyed how you painted the mood before you actually set up the actual poem, you don't see that too often.

-3rd Stanza
A worrier of light I once was
-I think it's suppose to be warrior

The flow was ok, it didn't take away or give to it in any way shape or form, but it was pretty good.

Over all this poem is Excellent.

5/5

SARA ( F P C ) at 2008-12-05

Hey

Thank you for your comments ... :)

And no ''Loss of identity'' is not about rape or anything like that...These things are reality and the ugly face of truth of every country & culture... My poem is about all the ugly things out there.. to all the people who suffer from them...whether it's war, rape, crime or whatever.. I believe in peace and I want it to become a reality not a dream...

Sweet As Sugar ( F P C ) at 2009-01-23

Wow ! 5/5 ! loved it !

AnCi ( F P C D ) at 2009-04-17

An amazing poem. I was shivering while I read it. 5/5



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