Life Story{Really Long But Worth The Read}

by AmberSherrellxxIve Been Sitting Here Trying To Find Myselfxx   Jul 14, 2008


She sits in her room with a sharpie in her hand
Writing down the words that no one understands
There's writing on the walls, up and down her arms
Explaining why she caused herself this mutilating harm

It tells a heartbreaking chronicle of her brutal life
And it's all there written in plain black and white
This story is for the strong, not the weak at heart
It'll bring tears to your eyes at why she finally fell apart

For as long as she can remember, her life was always hard
At the infantile age of eleven she started her self harm
She hid her many cuts and gashes from everyone's eyes
Wearing a smile all day only to go home and drown in cries

Her daddy was never that nice, alcohol was always on his breath
A bottle was always in his hand and caused her to pray for death
He would always tell her she could do better, he would always yell
She'd rather commit suicide then live in this home of bitter hell

There were many times when she would runaway and stay with her friends
Hoping and praying that her heartache would soon come to an end
But, no matter what she did, she always felt so depressed
And came to the conclusion that suicide was for the best

So one stormy night, while her aunt peacefully slept
She went into the bathroom, sat in the tub and wept
She took the razorblade and carved down her wrist
Slicing every vein, making damn sure she didn't miss

Three inch incisions carved down at each wrist's base
It was a shot at sweet death, not just an attention case
But, her aunt walked in and saw all the blood red
And when she woke up, she was in a hospital bed

They had saved her just in time, oh lucky day
Why didn't they understand that living wasn't okay?
Her wrists were stitched up and tied to the sides
No matter what she did, they just wouldn't let her die

About six months later, she tried it once more
But, she made a loud noise as she fell to the floor
And for the billionth time, she was sewn up like a toy
Why did they keep doing this, her life she wanted destroyed

Thinking it was for the best, they took her to a shrink
But, it only made her feel worse, pushed her to the brink
Her aunt had plenty of pills that was effortless to obtain
She ate two bottles of those and let her wrists drain

Once more at the hospital, she heard the doctors dread
And for once they actually thought that she was dead
But, her stomach was pumped and the stitches were sewn
Why wouldn't they take a hint and leave her alone?

She took a break from the suicidal tendencies and met a guy
He always made her laugh and wiped her tears when she cried
He was two years older and she'd just turned fourteen
But, when she was with him she'd forget all the evil things

Her aunt got her skin graphed and the scars disappeared
She fell in love and was with the same guy for years
He was her first and her only but, things soon changed
He started drinking and lying and nothing was the same

After a year and ten months, he broke up with her one night
She didn't really expect it, they no longer had any fights
Even though she's moved on, he's always on her mind
Wishing to forget him, wishing to turn back time

So here she sits again, writing on the walls
Trying to stay strong but knowing she'll fall
The razorblade is calling but, she still restrains
She doesn't want to lose the control she's fought to obtained

But, there's no one for her to talk to, they don't recognize
How much pain she feels and how much she really cries
The guy she's dating now is great and tries his very best
But, she's scared that he'll hurt her just like the rest

She's scared to give him her trust and her whole heart
Scared that he'll devastate her, tear her back a part
She sits there with a sharpie but what you don't see
Is how much she really hurts and the fact that she's me...

-Copyright-Amber Palmer

*This is a short summary of this thing of mine that i call "life".What I didn't throw in are:
-I attempted suicide like 4 or 5 more times.
-I was engaged to the guy that left me.
-I had been pregnant with his baby but miscarried.
---etc.*

((I had this poem on here before but some how it got deleted))

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by megan

    This poem reminds me of one of my best friends... i loved this poem and wanted there to be more i read it so fast i had to go back and read it again... great job 5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by JAZMIN

    WOW!! This poem brought tears to my eyes... This is excellent writing but its very sad... I read it out loud and was amazing... I was stuck for a few minutes, trying to be in your place, and feel your pain... It must of been awful but be strong and keep your head up and good luck with this guy...
    I really hope he makes you happy and hope that he is there for you...
    Keep your head up sweetie!
    -JAZZYnLOVE

  • 9 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    "She sits in her room with a sharpie in her hand
    Writing down the words that no one understands
    There's writing on the walls, up and down her arms
    Explaining why she caused herself this mutilating harm"

    ^^ This was a really good opening stanza. It's written quite strongly. I like it because it gives the reader an idea as to what they will be reading as the continue.

    "It tells a heartbreaking chronicle of her brutal life
    And it's all there written in plain black and white
    This story is for the strong, not the weak at heart
    It'll bring tears to your eyes at why she finally fell apart"

    ^^ I think, in the first line, you should replace "a" with "the". In the fourth line, "at" isn't needed in the line.

    "Her daddy was never that nice, alcohol was always on his breath
    A bottle was always in his hand and caused her to pray for death
    He would always tell her she could do better, he would always yell
    She'd rather commit suicide then live in this home of bitter hell"

    ^^ This was brilliant. I love how it gives the reader a look into this girl who would rather die, than deal with her home life. It shows how broken the girl was.

    "Three inch incisions carved down at each wrist's base
    It was a shot at sweet death, not just an attention case
    But, her aunt walked in and saw all the blood red
    And when she woke up, she was in a hospital bed"

    ^^ Wow. This is.. just wow. I love this stanza. LOVE it.

    "Thinking it was for the best, they took her to a shrink
    But, it only made her feel worse, pushed her to the brink
    Her aunt had plenty of pills that was effortless to obtain
    She ate two bottles of those and let her wrists drain"

    ^^ In the third line, "was" should be "were".

    "So here she sits again, writing on the walls
    Trying to stay strong but knowing she'll fall
    The razorblade is calling but, she still restrains
    She doesn't want to lose the control she's fought to obtained"

    ^^ In the fourth line, "obtained" should simply be "obtain". & "razor blade" is two words.

    "She's scared to give him her trust and her whole heart
    Scared that he'll devastate her, tear her back a part
    She sits there with a sharpie but what you don't see
    Is how much she really hurts and the fact that she's me..."

    ^^ Beautifully written ending to a wonderful poem.

    Overall; I liked it a lot. Some of the stanza's really stood out to me, which is good. I thought the rhyming was great, as was your word choice. Excellent job. 5/5

    ``Briana

  • 9 years ago

    by illbeoveryou

    Wow! this poem was really amazing and the most touching poems i ever read.. very well written.. i hope that you're alright now..

    keep fighting and don't give up!

    5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by HvN

    Wow... this WAS definitley worth the read. Amazing flow, great poem. You've got it pretty bad :[

    keep fighting girl :]

    5/5

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