Valentines Day

by Jad   Feb 15, 2011


Words won't come to mind -looking down
haunted by your loving smile, -as you lay
crying in frustration -silent in death
I tear myself apart with my heart. -please come back

Now I see
that your gone,
and I'm lost,
trapped inside, I watch you fade
below the ground
as everything blurs from sight.

...take this all away,
suffocate my life and hide
any remnants of my remains.

Standing without you here, -I'm falling
hiding the tears I don't want to shed -crying inside
denying all I've ever known -faith is all I have
hold me in your cold embrace. -you're gone

My Valentines Day....

1


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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    The emotion was definitely there and impacts the reader, however the different structure here was too different for me. It seemed the lines didn't break right and the structure was kind of haphazard as a result. I prefer your normal style more. A poem full of emotion though, lots of sadness.

  • 6 years ago

    by Cindy

    Austin
    What a very sad poem for Valentine's day. I know how hard it is to go through this day without the one you love :(
    Nice job!
    Love Cindy

  • 6 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    OMGGG...wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
    AUSTIN..I want to scream! this is just HEARTbreaking..omg what have you done to me!
    This is so amazingly written .PERFECT poem..from all sides..
    the punctuation..the structure..the word choice..the placement of the words..how you penned them down..
    Just brilliant poem

    I can't believe how amazingly you ended this..
    Poem that speaks desertion... that speaks of how beautiful you make out of the saddest verses..

    ..take this all away,
    suffocate my life and hide
    any remnants of my remains.

    ^^this was just magnificent..
    Look I am looking forward to write a 2nd collab with you!! Your poems are striking..

    Great poem, froma greater poet!
    5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    I could feel the sadness in each word... you have expressed it so well /..
    wonderful write

  • 6 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Austin, this write is so full of sadness, heartache and pain for a loved one. I am not going through each verse, line by line because it doesn't need that. I understabd the use of the phrases after the dashes and I wish there were some way on this site to treat them differently. Given that, this is an excellent write from you.