Mama Earth

June 1997, I was five years old. Standing in a big pile of mud I had made with my toy shovel and the water hose I looked up at those big blue skies. Mama Earth had a message to share and the burden was all mine to carry. I'm 19 years old now and I feel that it's finally time to let the big secret out. I hope you all can handle this burden and help me to bear it. It's been a hard 14 years doing this by myself.

Back to my mud puddle. I looked up at those big blue skies, saw an ice cream cone shaped cloud. Probably only because of the ice cream truck and it's little jingle as it passed me by. Man, Oh man, I loved me some orange sickles back then. Suddenly, it happened...Mama Earth shook me. Nothing drastic or anything, a pecan fell on my head from the tree I was standing under. It was enough though. I passed out from the excruciating pain of that pecan and I went into a dream world. " KRISTEEEEEEEEN. " My gosh! Mama Earth had a deep voice. " Shut up Kristen, I need you to listen to me. "

" Every now and again your parents may speak of very bad shakings of my foundations, Or perhaps, some dramatic winds I may send down upon you. " Mama Earth paused for a minute to make what she had to tell me seem more serious at that point. Then, she went on to say " I do these very things when I am angry Kristen. "

" But why are you so angry Mama Earth? " I proceeded to ask. " Because of these dang Fleas Kristen! No matter what I do these pestilences jump off all of you people and your stupid little pets and they crawl on my dirt and grass surfaces. They itch me to the core of my very being. I mean, the CORE. My Lava way down under can't even kill them. No one is doing a darn thing about it and I'm supporting all of you little inconsiderates! " She had said. " Oh, Mama Earth please don't yell I'm afraid you'll shake us. " In all my fear I had tried to calm her down.

" Kristen, you must do something about these fleas or I will burn you all alive. Also, I want Jeff Anderson to leave my Planet at once. I find his shoe prints troubling to my soil. If it's not done by the time your 20 years of age I will start my disastrous plan at once. Now, wake up. " It was then that I came to and the burden was only just beginning to weigh me down.

Fleas and Jeff Anderson. This was going to be a difficult task at five years old. I had never met any Jeff Anderson's and I had no means of extinguishing the fleas back then. I'm only a few months away from my 20th birthday now folks and as you can see Mama Earth's plan is already well on it's way. You see this drought is a product of it all, she is expecting me to fail. I've bought every frontline and K-9 advantix I could off the shelves but I need your help. Get out the nix and get your children fixed. Dogs and Cats, hose them down. We have GOT to do this soon and I mean VERY soon. Jeff Anderson, I found him a few months ago but he doesn't know that I'm shipping him off to the moon soon. He'll be okay there. It's one life or 6,775,235,700.

If we don't do this..Life as we know it will become something we don't know at all. The burden is no longer mine and mine alone anymore. We must all share this burden now and we must all work together to stop our impending doom. Mama Earth talked to me yesterday and she is doubtful of us. We can do this guys, We will do this. Look out for Pecans.