Bitten Without Pleasure (Tanka)

by PinkyPrincess   Feb 22, 2012


You chew up my words,
swallow them aggressively,
without tasting them,
my thoughts are left meaningless,
and there's nothing left to say.

***
A Tanka has five lines, with a syllable pattern of 5-7-5-7-7 syllables in the respective lines. A tanka does not have a rhyme scheme.

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    I love this poem a lot as it is true. The metaphor iherd is off the chart. This person stole your heart and gave it back to you into a million peices. You just used words instead of heart. But this truly is a great sad write. 5

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    I like the expression of "chewing up words"... it gives an impression having fun with heard words. The use of words like "swallow", "taste" and "aggressively" reveals that the authors compares writing and hearing words and thoughts with process of having a meal. This is great resemblance. The aggressive behavior led to the end of finding nothing to say and hence to the stage of finding no pleasure. The title fits in place with the poem content.
    -----------
    Overall:
    I loved the word and form choice. It gave a unique type of writing poems.
    Thank you for sharing this poem.

  • I love this poem. This is why:

    Firstly, for such a short piece, you have written something with such a powerful meaning.

    Secondly, your word choice is perfect. In writing, word choice is like king. Words like 'aggressively' and 'meaningless' add such power and emotion to this short piece of writing. Made it all that more enjoyable and relatable.

    Thirdly, the emotion. This links to both my comments above, but you have expressed yourself perfectly with this piece that I thought it needed to be mentioned by itself specifically.

    Overall;
    Everyone deserves to be heard, and here you have truly been heard loud and clear.
    Well done, Sarah. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    A short piece, but you managed to preform what would be a demanding task for the form, the words pack a punch and were very strong.

    A well written Tanka!

  • 11 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    God dam it that it awesome!!!!

    Seriously your word choice was just perfect :-)

    Im a big lover of tbe tanka style and this was wicked, Really strong almost challenging vibe to this piece, great flow just fantastic :-)))

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