In case you want to listen while reading:
This room has become an icebox. The window is frosted, the walls
are glossy, and the air is anointed with breath, that sighs from a mouth
that has been smothered. All because you have made this heart of mine
not bleed for you, not long for you, nor miss you. You've convinced it to go cold.
Now ...I can't wholly blame you... I became that girl. Whose mind was dominated
by any male who catered to her, bought her nice things, and kissed her
with arousing lips. Yes, I became the girl who I use to laugh at. The one
who spread her legs for his fulfillment, as the virgin inside my soul screamed
You see, you don't know what it's like. To have big breasts that tantalize the brains of men who have never been laid, who want to be laid, who expect to get laid. You don't know what it's like, to have eyes of a hypnotist, that work their magic without your consent. I'd rather walk around with eyelids pointing downward because to look up, means I can see the scum that drools over me, and I will succumb to the ways he fool s with me.
That's what I did with you.
You have diverted back to a child, and crafted handmade gifts like kids do
on Valentine's Day. You have morphed into an eager old man who blesses
me with a ring of commitment. But did you think I forgot how we met?
How that night, again, I turned into the girl I mocked and called a sinner.
Poison ran through my veins like electricity in cords, and I was under
such a stupor, that allowing your vampire like mouth to suck my neck
was ok with me. ..It shouldn't have been. I had allowed your predator like
hands, to graze this body that subconsciously begged to differ...but didn't voice it.
I slip on this skating rink that use to be a floor, and while I'm down here
I cry to God, "What did I do? Why have I given myself to men who have
made me their puppets?" I use to think this covering on my head was hair,
and now I've realized it was just string for masters to control me.
Do you see what you have done? You have made me angry when thinking
of who you pretended not to be, but were. Yet, you have made me realize
that being cold hearted isn't pathetic. Its admirable. Because now...
now I know to guard my spirit and respect my body because the next
man who finds his way through my reproductive system better know
more than my favorite color and what I like to eat for breakfast.
He better make my heart have an orgasm before my vagina does,
he better thrust a thousand dollars on dates before thrusting his penis
against the wall of my cervix. He better rub me to sleep at night before
he rubs my clit on the first day. And damn it...
He WILL respect me.
You can go now. ..My mind has been made up. It's ok for me
to freeze over because that means, I'm too frigid for any male to
be around...for once.
I'm so glad that I listened to this instead of just reading it... it's 100x more powerful, especially when you raised your voice and read faster.
I am not going to break it down because it's better than that, raw emotion like this just cannot be critiqued. This is so powerful and just a very true message... all us women want is respect, not to be seen as a sexual object.
Love it, Chels...and can't wait to read more of your slam poetry!
5 years ago
Where the hell do I start with this?
It was genius to post a recording with this, if anybody listens and reads there can be no doubt how you wanted this to come across.
Ok now the detail,
You set the scene very well here, an icebox is a great start, you then describe the atmosphere of the room well linking it to the icebox, looking deeper you are suggesting already that you have indeed frozen over.
You are trying to reason in this stanza, you have realised that maybe you had indeed become those girls you disliked. However you remind us of your true feelings with the final two lines. The use of virgin was very clever, especially with some of the terminology already used. Looking deeper, I would suggest that a 'virgin inside your soul' could actually point to a feeling that you haven't found your true love. Maybe you have slept with him, but did you truly give yourself to him?
This is so powerful, gives a real insight to what it could be like to be a beautiful woman. I can confirm from a mans perspective that most of us do drool over big breasts it is the way we are wired. I think they should see if there is a link with being breastfed and obsessed with breasts or a 'boob man'
Ok what is interesting in this stanza is although you are clearly belittling men in this you are also blaming yourself, you talk of your hypnotic eyes and the last line mentions being fooled.
Then the pause, the single line, the change of pace and tone. Brilliant.
I had to read this stanza a few times, I think I may have gotten the meaning to this, if I am wrong let me know.
I have been guilty in the past of handmaking gifts, the real reason? I had blown my money on myself and had panicked!!!! Men believe that by making a gift it means more to woman, could be true but depends on the gift. I think with this you have either seen this or are suggesting that he is starting to take you for granted, with the reference to how you met, you could be asking him to remember how it was. As for the ring? does he really truly love you? or was this an empty gesture to keep you sweet. Or attempt at least.
You talk of being a sinner, reading AGAIN I look back to your non giving of yourself, in your mind you are still a virgin to a true love, so does this man not realise that he is not the one? you gave yourself to easily, he is now taken you for granted, but he is not the one?
You are still annoyed with yourself in this stanza, you describe him in terms such as vampire and predator, you have no feelings for him, you feel like a slab of meat that he has had his fill with, you didn't listen to your true feelings.
The puppet analogy is great BTW, very clever and takes this whole stanza to a deeper level. How many woman feel controlled, not just by men but by life itself, but there is also the 'trophy wife' syndrome, men like to have a beautiful woman on their arm as a status symbol, they see the breasts and features first and never take time to get to know the person. The ice rink suggests confusion and no clear direction, yet hitting the floor and facing the rink to me suggests that you are being to face this head on.
This is where everything turns around on it's head. You have realised that it is important to have respect for yourself. You are now weary of predators and are going to take time out. I love the last two lines, so strong and such anger (scrambled eggs with ranch and I am guessing red- Pink would be too obvious, titanic is your favourite film. woo hoo)
What a great opening line, this links back to stanza 2 and the whole virgin in my soul. You know now that you want a man that loves you for you, not what he can get from you. You are realising the importance of soul mates, a true love. But there is also a suggestion that he will have to work a lot dam harder first. prove his love, prove he doesn't just want you for your body. The anger and shock factor of this stanza is awesome.
Lovely calming few lines that links perfectly with the opening stanza.
Princess you have written a monster of a poem here. you should be very proud and I am once again in awe of you. I love the honesty and the 'balls' to put this out there.
Easily easily nominated.
Chels I listened to the vocaroo too, you speaking the poem and I was so moved by your words. There's this sign in an English room at our school that says Speech is Power, and I completely believe that. You put so much honesty and emotion into this, your voice just spoke that message to all women of the respect we should always look for first.
Breathtaking! I love this slam poetry, it's so incredibly expressive!