Comments : A crushed flower...

  • 4 years ago

    by Meme

    @_@
    That was so sad an heartfelt, may she rest in peace...

    Now about the poem, the metaphors and use of flower to represent her and her life was brilliant. I loved how you used the different aspects of a flower like its scent and its petals to reference the things that happebed to this girl.

    Very well written Amreen.
    Keep it up!

  • 4 years ago

    by Autumn Leaves

    You're definitely being added to my favorite list... This poem is so deep words can't even describe the depth and sadness here.

    The usage of the gardener here to describe the loser who snuffed out the beauty that this beautiful woman once process is a perfect description. In our society today many men don't know how respect women because they haven't been taught so they go on abusing and violating women because of their ignorance.

    Referring to the victim as a flower changes this poem from great to amazing. You made me understand the victim and her innocence, her purity and more importantly her unwillingness to participate with the gardener. A flower so delicate that if one should touch it in a ungentle manner it would be ruin...powerful words indeed.

    I also appreciate how you kept allowing the victim to speak like when you said" I am crushed Ma", "I know Ma", and " And if Ma, I perish don't make me another example of a crushed flower which got forgotten with the death of its scents".

    Everyone has been touched by rape whether it happen to them or someone they know, your words are powerful and you told her story and such a understanding and caring manner showing that you have empathy for rape victims...just heartwarming.

    Your words also shows how the victim wanted to be remembered not as that deaden flower she became, but as the beautiful flower she once were.

    Amazing...

  • 4 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    When I passed the first few lines I already knew
    what this was about and it really makes my heart cry to see this happen not only to this dear girl but to a lot of girls. I hope and pray that something is done.

    I like how you have used the wind as the evil doer and the gardener in my view-the police, politicians etc who cover this whole thing up.

    The end clearly tells that this little flower wants to be remembered and justice done..a moving write.

  • 4 years ago

    by Darren

    I will get the nit out of the way first, stanza 5 'hided' should be 'hid'
    Okay, now to the poem.

    Using a flower to describe this girl is awesome. You capture very well the sense of what this girl could have been and was to those that love her.
    The political message in this is huge, I hope this girls plight can be used to change many attitudes, great write.

    • 4 years ago

      by Amreen

      Thanks Darren for the err I made. Incorporated:)
      Thank you Meena too:)

  • 4 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Though I know my words could never do this poem justice , I will tell you that for me you almost captured the sensual beauty of a sacred flower that was trampled by evil desire of unholy forces , and when I read the caption that filled the mystery of the personification, my heart was filled with grief , yet left with the hope that those not yet human could be moved by these words

  • 4 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This is an outstanding poem Though I know my words could never do this poem justice , I will tell you that for me the author almost captured the sensual beauty of a sacred flower that was trampled by evil desire of unholy forces , and when I read the caption that filled the mystery of the personification, my heart was filled with grief , yet left with the hope that those not yet human could be moved by these words

  • 4 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    I want to become
    the way you want me to,
    only if I could recover from this pain
    and stand again, despite the ugly spots on my petals.

    ^^
    To a mother, this is hard to read, Amreen. I saw this on the news as a woman, but also as a mum. The insanity of the violence in this world hits you harder once you have children.

    Your poem touched my heart and soul and girl, whatever you do with your life is your decision, but I suggest you somehow make a contribution to an India that is safe for women.

    Peace be with you and your people,

    5/5 Ingrid

    VIOLENCE CAN NEVER BE THE FINAL ANSWER

  • 4 years ago

    by Karla

    This is a beautiful tribute Amreen. My heart goes to her mother.

    • 4 years ago

      by Amreen

      Thank you Michael, Ingrid and Karla. It means a lot. Thanks for supporting:)

  • 4 years ago

    by Khalid

    Amreen, this poem has increased my sadness and made me cry. May she rest in peace. The world is full of such victims and criminals. Those criminals and murderers will no longer be in peace, as a promise from God.
    "I know Ma,
    you always wished
    a blissful life for me
    and see me grow with my family."

    I think the 4th line sounds better if it reads "seeing me grow..."

    "and I love you still." sounds better if it reads "and I still love you".

    The last stanza is my favorite.

    ^^^^

    Overall:
    The flow of the poem is great and the title as well. The ending is superior as a warning to all governments, not only India. The resemblance of the victim's case with the crushed flower is heart taking. Finally the conversation between Daughter and Mother is so sorrowful. Again, may she rest in peace.
    Thank you so much for sharing that. Great work.
    I really really hope this will win the contest.

  • 4 years ago

    by Mohan

    This is really sad to here because the unnatural death of the delhi girl.
    Already I tried to write about this sad incident but i can't
    but i expect this poem from you.
    now she is rest in peace..
    and also gud written my friend..

  • 4 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Amreen, this piece is so powerful, so strong and heartfelt, it was a piece that blew me away with the way it was penned but also gave me great sadness, and sorrow, and anger for this world and some of the things that occur in society, all over the world.

    This piece deserved its win, it was a really strong piece, that shall be a credit to this young lady and a great tribute.

    x

  • 4 years ago

    by Ibe

    This's a beautiful piece. May this poem be dedicated to flowers that ve been scarred.

  • 4 years ago

    by Amreen

    Thanks Tara and Ibe, thanks for the support and the comments. It feels good:)

  • 4 years ago

    by Hellon

    Amreen..what can I say...this was a terrible tragedy that could have been prevented if the gardener had been sacked a long time ago. What happened to this girl is beyond belief and sickens me to the core. You have done a wonderful job of commemorating a life that should never have been taken...I can't think of anything else to say, only, congrats on your win....this poem really does deserve the front page.

  • 4 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    I know about the gang rape in Delhi girls r not save in India, let see what happens with rapist.

  • 4 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    I know about the gang rape in Delhi girls r not save in India, let see what happens with rapist.

  • 4 years ago

    by Rusheena

    WOW...I'm trying not to cry right now. It's so sad that this happens everyday, and the victims and their families get lost in the system. I know it may not seem like it, with all of the craziness going on in the world, but there will come a time all of the flowers will be redeem, and all of the corrupt gardeners of the world will be held accountable. We just have to be patient. Beautiful poem.

  • 4 years ago

    by Saravana Kumar S

    You depicted the struggle and despair pretty well in your poem...Let her beautiful soul rest in peace..Thanks for sharing this poem...

  • 4 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    Wow Amreen,its so amazingly described!!
    every stanza,every lines,every words are so touching!

    Simply the BEST!!

    n huge congratulations dear!! u really deserved the win!
    *_*

  • 4 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    This incident has left me & many others with shame of being an Indian. Imagining her pain gives me shiver & at the same time courage to be part of every ongoing protest so that the culprits could get the worst possible punishment. Though I don't think anything now would bring justice to the victim or her family but it's time for all of us to wake up.

    Yes, i have thought of writing on this too but somehow just couldn't gather the courage. I am glad you wrote & with perfect metaphors. I am also glad that it had been acknowledged. Very well deserved win.

    all the best & take care