How I see You (Loop Poetry)

by Hellon   Feb 17, 2013

Eyes that don't see
see the things that you do
do you wish me to describe
describe how I see you...

Skin so delicate
delicate as a rose
rose that will blossom
blossom as it grows.

Hair moving gently
gently you tease
tease...softly whispering
whispering summer breeze.

Voice so melodic
melodic singing birds
birds, such sweet tunes
tunes...enchant like your words.

rustling trees bare
bare as leaves fall
fall, the colour of your hair.

Your perfume..sweet fragrance
fragrance frangipani's bring
bring back many memories
memories of spring.

Yes...I am blind
blind, yet I see
see in my mind
mind you fill with glee.

@Hellon sometime in 2009...trying to express a blind father who's daughter is just leaving for her graduation dance....

Loop poetry is a form I created myself...


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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by GB

    I checked your poems looking for this, it's always been one of your best, a real joy to read.

    Write on my dear, your poetry delights the world :)

  • 6 years ago

    by L

    Your poem is really good..why don't you post it?

    ^^ oops, I didn't post it because I wrote it as a comment instead as a poem.

    And haha were you able to fix the typo in shadows poetry?

  • 6 years ago

    by Maggie

    I like the Loop Poem format, is it okay if I use it?

  • 6 years ago

    by Darren

    Nice to see a special event poem nominated. Also nice to see a poem written in this style. Loop poetry can sometimes read very repetitive. It is easy to fall into a trap of justifying the layout and form of the poetry at the expense of the detail. Not only have you sidestepped this trap, you managed to throw in a rhyme scheme for good measure. I feel you captured the essence of your chosen subject very well. It has a lovely feel to the whole piece. Well written.

  • 6 years ago

    by Hellon

    Thanks Luce....yes, you are correct, it is a typo so thanks for pointing it out. Can't believe the error has gone unnoticed for so long on Shadow Poetry. Just need to figure out how to get back on there to edit that one too haha!!!

    Your poem is really good..why don't you post it?