Sometimes I adopt the coziness of cafes and lean back
as though I was keenly braided with their furniture,
occasionally doors open and some chests flutter.
My coffee tastes maudlin, but beneath eyelids the sun scorches too;
soon chapped words or thin lines will recreate this scenery
...if not now already.
Overhearing conversations about casual family reunions and
overdue break-ups as the waitress prances past empty chairs.
The dust settled around me with nothing to show.
Queerness befell; you entered and stumbled towards the counter
You were pale compared to your cup, yet it was your aroma
I remembered. I wouldn't even have recognized you,
if it wasn't for that intimacy you shared.
Inhaling deeply as you savored the first sip, to then lick above your lips.
We had dinner a time or two; and I want to feel it again,
that breeze you create when you tilt your head.
Jenni got me from start to finish with this poem. Really admire the format.. numerically starting out the stanzas add a fun invitation to read.. The metaphoric scene takes me to a coffee shop, feeling her emotions and feelings.. Oh this was a delight to read!!
Love the comparison to pale skin and coffee cups.. the detailed imagery is very noticeable from start to end..
I felt the need to highlight this poem for many reasons and I'm sure all readers will agree this was a delightful piece to read! Well done Jenni-
This is such a confident memory when you open up the poem with those lines "Sometimes I adopt the coziness of cafes", it makes me think you can assimilate into any environment, and make it your own. I love how you section this poem off with Roman Numerals, and how you write in longer, but still quite eloquent lines. In the second stanza, I like how you show the passing of time and what you overhear. I know whenever I go out to eat, whether a diner, a busy restaurant, or even a Panera, there's always the chance you can listen in on a conversation if they are close enough. Sometimes it makes me smile because it is such casual tones and it's always good to see people talking things through, not hearing people yell or scream.
Your word choice is so articulate! I love how carefully your thoughts run in each line, especially, "You were pale compared to your cup, yet it was your aroma I remembered" - such a powerful line that invokes companionship and maybe a bit more. I think to really notice a person's scent and label it as being theirs shows you look past the surface of the skin, almost into the presence of this person.
I loved how you went ahead and wrote about the intimacy, because I feel many can relate in savoring the special coffee they order, and making it last.
You are very direct in second to last lines.... almost like a plead your heart has been hiding but now you are making known very quietly and simply. That little movement of tilting the head and creating a breeze is peaceful, and also bittersweet. That last line expressed the heartache, that maybe each time you are in a cafe, you are reminded of him, maybe you are always looking or searching for his aroma. But nothing ever matches up.
I read this the other day and it really stood out to me as something truly beautiful. I adore the imagery in the first part, the coziness of cafes and such, very intimate feeling. I love how also the little alleyways between buildings and how narrow they are. Makes one feel so dreamy!
The dust settling around you was a very powerful line, I was quite in awe to read it. It speaks of your loneliness perfectly. You wish there was someone there to keep you company too.
I loved the word befell, I really don't hear that often either. I also found it interesting that you used the word queerness to describe the oddity of the situation, I can see you sticking out among all these other lively bunches of people who are enjoying each others company, and then there you are all alone in silence.
I loved how you brought the coffee metaphor around in the end again, you introduced it at first and then saying your memories of them were coffee-stained is just absolutely perfect. Perhaps they are hazy yet still very clear in your mind and this is one you wish to relive once again.
What a gorgeous piece! How I wonder how you came up with something this lovely. A deserving nomination for sure!